How To Disappear
by VexationbyCreation
Summary: To him in every complex strategy his mind would run this situation panned out in such a way that it seemed too ridiculous to even indulge. There was no sane way for him to make a logical explanation for his actions concerning this bar girl who seemed as though she didn't know just how much trouble she was asking for with that simple question,"How do you take your tea, sir?"
1. Prologue

There are many people in life that we are destined to meet. These meetings vary, whether its a second, or a lifetime, we never know. All that is sure is that in that exact moment at that perfect time and place they were, or said, or did exactly what we needed. Though those times often leave such an impact in our lives that we often find ourselves going back just to remind ourselves that it really happened, and to remember what it was exactly that you were looking for all along. I know when I think back to him and our time together I always come back with some new revelation that had been staring me in the face the whole time. It's almost comical how often I sneak back to my memories, even now, just to see how his words apply to the situations I get myself into. He didn't know all the answers, but looking back my suspicion grows more and more that he was actually a fortune teller, giving me free reading because he knew my dense self wouldn't be able to see it otherwise. There is always some new to learn about our times together, those brief encounters, comfortable silences, heated talks, heart to hearts, anything that we did together, anytime I spent with him. He was perfect for the time that he was in my life, because even now he still gives me the obvious answers, as if his ghost was in the standing behind me with that slight twitch in his brows that if you didn't look closely enough you'd miss. He wasn't what wanted at the time, but he's everything that I needed now. There are no amount of thank yous, prayers, offerings, anything I could give to show my appreciation. So I do what I know he would see as best, I carry on.


	2. Getting Off The Road

Vagabond, gypsy, traveler, all those words are names that people have used to describe me from the time I left home to when I found this gloomy village sitting on the edge of a forest. It was so foggy that it would almost be impossible to see the houses from where we were standing, had it not been for the paper lanterns that hung on each building illuminating its entirety in a whimsical zigzag formation. To me, this village looked mystical, like it held some sort of energy that desperately tried to hide itself within the mundane outer shell, but inside I bet there was something there that borderline magical, I could feel it. "That's the most haunted place I think we've ever come upon, don't you think?" I looked over to my friend Rei who was looking in the same direction I was, but instead of a captivated look on her face she wore a look of disgust with her lips pursed just to show how bad it made her feel. I giggled and looked back at that village of wonder again, it's funny how two people can look at the same thing and see two completely different elements, "I think it's beautiful"

"Neee?! How could that ugly swamp be beautiful? Airi-chan that place is uglier than sin, and feels like someone cursed it. The energy gives me the creeps…" she rubbed her arms and lifted the big bag that she carried on her back higher, as if to give her a some sense of security. It made sense too, to us our whole livelihoods were in these bags that we carried, they were apart of us, and held just about everything we could ever need inside. Reassuring its existence was like reassuring our own, it let us know we were still here. I gave mine a brief tug too, not for security though, just to make sure it was there, and looked down at Rei and gave her a big goofy smile, "Maybe there's a cute boy waiting for you just down that trial", she snorted and turned to catch up with the rest of our group, "Yeah, and maybe there's one for you in there, too", I followed behind, but took one last look at that haunted village and shrugged, "maybe".

The traveling band that we were currently with settled down a few miles away from what I now dubbed 'spooky village' and was currently making its camp out deep in the woods in the away from anything and everything. We all unpacked, some their bags from their shoulders, a few their carts which were pulled by mules, and two simply laid down, because they had nothing but the clothes that were on their backs. I was once one of those, and if it hadn't have been for Rei I would have continued to be one. Most of the people here who traveled all did it with a cause, whether it's to get to the next town, to get away from a certain town, or go to a certain destination. It was always something for them, but for me, I left all for one simple reason, I was bored. There's no deep back story to how and why I left my hometown the day I turned sixteen, it was just something in my bones demanding me to follow the wind wherever she took me. This restless constant pull that called to my spirit, and I felt if I didn't leave it would go without me. So the day I turned sixteen I told my mother, who was a geisha and raised me the best she could, 'I just have to go'. At the time she didn't seem phased, and after taking a lengthy drag of her long cigarette from where she lounged in our living room on that lovely imported chase asked, 'where?', and I told her the truth, 'I don't know'. She didn't stop me from walking out the door that day, and I haven't spoken to her since. She wasn't cruel, she gave me all the necessities that I needed to make a comfortable living, and when I was old enough to work even gave me a position of maiko, on the authority of her high standing in the house she worked at. Maybe that was the life she had wanted for me, though I do believe there was relief in her eyes the day I left, which was right before my Eriage. I don't know if she was happy in her life, growing up she was always distant, and never had much to say to me, she let the nanny's take the position of being the emotional support. In some part of me I understood why, though the words never manifested to tangible explanations. I could see when she looked at me that sometimes she wasn't looking just at me, but my features. Everyone had said I looked just like her, with her pale skin and feminine facial features, though no one wanted to point out how my light blue eyes and honey colored hair striking contrasted with her dark brown eyes and pitch black hair. I never asked about my father, simply because I didn't have a desire to know him, so I left the question blank and haven't looked back at it since, there wasn't a point. My childhood was happy and carefree, some would even say luxurious. I didn't need him.

"Airi-chan have you seen my hair brush? I can't seem to find it anywhere…"

Oh yeah, that's right, I'm suppose to be setting up my sleeping place. I looked around to see everyone was already done, then looked down to my bag to see that all I had gotten out was some beef jerky and was munching on it while I reminisced. Damn my daydreaming…

"Airi-chan, did you hear me?" Rei poked her head out of her completed tent and looked at my form still sitting in the same position that she had seen me get into when we first arrived, though this time eating beef jerky. She groaned and threw a sandel at my head "Airi-chan what the hell have you been doing all this time?", I rubbed my head from where the sandel hit and turned back to look at her with a frown and puppy dog eyes "I got hungary…". She shook her head and finally immersed herself from her tent, "Com'on hurry up, I'm not gonna wait up with you like I did last night."

I rolled my eyes, "If anything it was you keeping me up at night, all the complaining about society and what not…"

"You think me pointing out facts is complaining? Like this world isn't just a bunch of fools kidding themselves into thinking that their 'walls' will keep them safe? Like how mother nature provides us with everything we need and our society and social greed wants us to forget that and just take from her instead of give? Like…

"Yeah yeah we get it, like that. Exactly like that." Damn did I make the mistake of getting her worked up.  
She glared but still sat down on the spot next to mine and started helping me pull out all the junk I needed to make a decent place to sleep tonight. When I had first taken to the road sleeping under the stars seemed like dream. All the beauty in it, all the danger, it was so liberating that I could just lay down where I stood and take a nap any time of day and anywhere I wanted to. Though after a few years on the road suddenly my back doesn't seem to like the hard surfaces anymore.

"Ne, Rei-chan, do you have an extra blanket? I want to make sure I'm extra cozy tonight."

She glared harder at me from where she stood, putting the tarp over the now erected tent, "no I don't have one for someone who doesn't take mother nature or me seriously" she turned her nose to the air and hmped.

"You know I agree with you Rei-chan, otherwise I wouldn't have followed you for so long and listened to all your rants" I smiled at her from under my bangs, "plus where would I be without them? Probably some feral wild person eating bunny raw in the woods." we both laughed and moved inside to put the finishing touches up. I had been traveling with Rei ever since I met her 3 years ago. She had found me in this seedy run down town, we had both stopped at the local inn in order to get some relief from the wind storm that was reeking havoc outside. I didn't have any money, so I was trying to negotiate with the manager to see if I could do some work in exchange for room and board that night. Though all he kept suggesting was that I spent the night in his room instead, which I definitely didn't want and would rather stand in the 90 per mile winds and freeze to death. Though luckily just at that moment Rei walked in, she had come up to the desk looking poised and stuck up as ever with that big backpack hanging on her back even then, asking "I'd like a room tonight please, and can you make sure its your cleanest one too?". I'll never forget that poor managers face, the way it went from pleased, to surprised, to red hot pissed all in one second spun my head faster than the winds that were howling outside. "Now see here young lady, we don't serve the types of people who don't have no class to them, especially a lady who don't know…" he didn't have to time to finish his sentence before Rei-chan reach over the counter and grabbed his collar and moved his face to meet hers, "I said your cleanest room please, otherwise you can have this," she pulled out what looked like a cone knife and held it to his quivering adam's apple, "in your throat faster than you can say 'I'm a misogynist". I don't think I've ever seen someone so powerful until that day, and stood by the counter with my mouth hanging as I saw that old pervert reach behind with shaking hands to grab a key off the wall that hung them all. "Here…" he said in a shaky voice that was pathetic to witness now after taking most of his advances earlier, where he was claiming to be the 'strongest guy' in town. She snatched it, but before taking her leave she dung her weird knife into his neck just a little deeper than before, whispering in his ear, "Now tell me who doesn't know their place?", then dropping him like a hot potato, letting gravity slam him onto the front counter with a bang. She took off to wherever the room key number had indicated, and I couldn't help but follow her. It was as if my soul had imprinted on her and now I could never let her leave my sight. She turned down the hall and I did too, until we both reached her door. She sighed and turned to face me, "look I'm sorry if that was your grandpa or something, but I'm not gonna go back and take back what I did. The old fart deserved it."

I replied in a somewhat dazed voice, "That's not my grandpa… I don't even know that guy."

"Then why the hell are you following me to my room?" she snapped, raising her cherry colored eyebrow that matched her hair in annoyance.

I thought about it for a minute, and really couldn't come up with a better explanation other than, "What you did back there was really cool, and I think I like you."

She sighed again though this time put her hand to her forehead and rubbed the green headband that held her long red hair back from her face and mumbled to herself, "Gosh it's always the weird ones.." before bringing her emerald eyes back to me and putting that same hand on my shoulder, "Look kid, you might think you love me now, but you don't even know me, and I can get mean real quick."

I looked at her confused for second, before I thought back to what I had just said and shook my head with a laugh, "I don't love you, I just wanna be like you. Can I travel with you?"

Now it was her time to look at me with confusion, "Just who the hell are you, kid?"

"My name Airi, and I'm your new traveling buddy!" and from that day on I stuck with her wherever she took me. Over the years learning about her culture and how she basically lives a hermit lifestyle because that's what her ancestors did and so on and so on she and I had formed a bond that you could almost say was sister like. She wasn't to find a permanent place to stay until she had children, and being only 23 promised that wasn't going to be anytime soon. So we drifted from place to place, seeing new things, going on adventures, finding work all until we landed here, a few miles away from spooky village.

"Ne, Rei-chan…" I called to her, breaking myself out of my day dreaming and her out of brushing her hair, "don't you ever get tired of it all?"

"Tired of what?" she turned back to the portable mirror that was now hanging on one of the makeshift tent walls and resumed her previous task of stroking her hair.  
"You know, of traveling. Always on go, always seeing, but never being… Like all those festivals we go to, we just watch from afar, and sometimes we stop in and have a drink or two and talk to some folks there but were never really apart of it. We're always just on the outside, watching and seeing, never involved just attending…" I looked down to my lap and waited for her response, I never knew just what would come out of that mouth of hers.

She sighed and put the brush down, turning her body to face me, "Are you saying you aren't happy anymore?"

"It's not that I'm not happy…" I reached up to start playing with ends of my hair, noticing that most were dead, "It's just that there has to be something more…" I looked up to gauge her reaction, but was surprised to find that she wasn't scowling and ready to explode. Instead she was sitting there patiently, looking at me with gentle eyes and waiting to hear more. Though there wasn't anything else to say, I sat across and looked into those emerald eyes that seemed to be the color of moss in the low candle light and waited to hear what she had to say now.

"You know Airi-chan, you are free to leave anytime you want to…" She started, reaching out to grab my hand, "You aren't committed to this life as I am, and really have no real reason to be here. You want a community, and I can't give that to you. As long as you travel you won't be able to find that, either. If you're ready to find your forever home, you can go wherever you see fit…"

I could tell she was sad, but she was holding herself back from showing it. We had been together for three years, and it was even hard for me to voice these feelings to her. Though I was tired, and I didn't see a reason to go down a path that I knew wouldn't lead me anywhere. I squeezed her calloused hand and smiled up at her, "I really liked that spooky village"

"No" that was her flat answer, and her dead panned look let me know she thought this was one of my games.

"I'm serious! I've been thinking of that place ever since we left it! I think that place is where I'm meant to be…"

"Look I would have been happy to drop you off anywhere, ANYWHERE, but I am not going to leave you in some haunted village just because you think it's cool, no." she folded her arms and looked up to the sky again, her mind was set.

"Rei-chan, if I'm going anywhere, I'm going where my soul takes me, and that spooky village called out to me. I'm certain I'm going to find what I'm looking for in that town…"

She looked back to me and could see the resolution brighten my eyes, and waited to see if I would back down. After a couple of minutes she sighed, knowing that when my mind was made up on something there was no way to talk me out of it, "Oh Airi-chan…" I reached over and hugged her, and she slowly moved her arms circle around me as well, "Thank you" I whispered in her ear, "thank you for everything."


	3. Paper Dolls

**AUTHORS NOTE: Hey lol so I know a lot of y'all are confused about the sudden change in this chapter. I changed it cause to be completely honest... It wasn't depressing enough. Like I need Airi to be depressed, cause that's the only way she can relate to baby boy. And the last one was nice, but it wasn't what I thought was best. Though if y'all were really feeling that one and not this one and would like me to write from that perceptive than write me a review and let me know! Like that's the only way I'm going to change it cause otherwise I'm keeping it dark and sad lol.**

It was morning now, and as everyone starting packing to continue down that road that never seemed to end, I as packing mine to get off. Rei was right beside me the whole time, making sure everything I had in my sack would be enough to settle with. She didn't let the sadness show in her eyes, and covered it with a facade of annoyance, and I let her. I wish it didn't have to come to this, and as I watched Rei continue on her strategic packing rampage I couldn't help but feel that dull ache within me. It wasn't from sadness though, and I wished with all my heart it could be. No, this was an ache I was very much so acquainted with, it was numbness. That throb of realization that you don't care as much as someone else, that you're letting them down and you can't do anything about it. I wished I could cry, I wished with all my heart I could be there with Rei in this sadness that she was feeling. Though there was nothing in me to give that too her, I was a paper doll. That's what my mother had always called me in those few times she would spare me a glance. She would grab the side of my face whisper it as an endearment, an example of just how perfected my beauty was. Though now that term was a knife, sharp with its truth and cutting with its perfect analogy of who I was. I was hallow, I had been ever since I had been small. I don't remember when I first recognized it, though there one instance that always stands out to me. The day when my first nanny died, she was very old, and had been attending my mother for a very long time. So when I was born she continued the role of maid for her all the while being a nanny for me as well. She was wonderful, and so full of light and joy, there could be nothing that dampened her spirits. Though she had been the first person to see it, and when I was six had told me, "the same streak of ice that runs through your mother goes through you as well", and at the time I didn't know the severity of those words. I didn't know how they would shape my life to where I am now, and when she died, all the ladies of the Geisha house cried for her. There wasn't a single person who didn't have nice things to say about Obaa at her funeral, it was only my mother and I who stood at her grave and didn't have a drop to give. That day too I looked around at all the other faces and wished I could be feeling that as well, grief, anguish, heartache. Though the only thing that came then was the same thing that I felt today, throbbing numbness. I finished the last of the packing and watched Rei futtle over some pots that she had used last night, they were already clean, but she was cleaning them again. When she felt my presence at her back she sighed dramatically and stood up, pots in hand, "You can't leave without these Airi-chan! You'll actually have to cook for yourself once you get there, you know…" she crouched back down and continued washing, now with more vigor, and what looked to be anger. I stood behind her a watched, baiting my time. She stood up and turned around again, and this time there were tears in her eyes, "Isn't it nice, being here? Didn't you have fun?" she whispered to me, throwing down the pans and pulling me into a tight warm hug. She was so strong, and I felt that throb grow even bigger with my wish to give that strength back. All I could give back was a hug and a smile, "It's alright, I'm okay with letting nice things go". She pulled back and grabbed my face, her hands on either side, "you don't have to go, you can still come with me. Maybe the next town will have something for you there!". I looked into those vibrant green eyes, watched as they pleaded with me to go with her. I almost cried as I shook my head, watching as those eyes that were temporarily filled with hope fade with understanding. I was leaving, and there was nothing she could do about it. She let more tears run down, sighing in defeat as she looked to the ground, letting out a raw "I didn't know it would come to this…". I swallowed, the throb now seemed to be moving to my throat, and I didn't think I could speak anymore. So I grabbed one of her hands instead, and gave her a gentle squeeze. Hoping that in that gesture it could convey exactly how much I wanted to be sad with her. She looked up again, back to my eyes, " "Airi-chan, please stay safe. This world… It's not as bright as you see it as. There is so much darkness, so many cold people. They will all try and take from you. Please, promise me you will stay safe." As I looked into Rei-chans pleading eyes I knew I couldn't make that promise. I don't know what tomorrow has in store for me, and neither did she. Although she wasn't asking this out of her expectations, and I knew that. What she needed right now was reassurance. I knew this world could be dark, because I was dark as well. I wanted to face the places where no one else would go, if only to find something there that would make me feel real. I am willing to take these risk, because there has to be more than this. "I'm going to be okay Rei-chan, I promise." I tried to sound sincere, but my voice cracked from that lump in my throat, and I could still see the uncertainty in her eyes. She didn't voice them, instead she pulled back from me and reached down and grabbed the pots, "don't forget these." She was so strong, and I can't give any of that strength back, my insides felt as if they were all clay, as if they were fake reminders of what the real functioning organs looks like. My heart pumped, but it couldn't feel. My soul talked, but it wouldn't listen. My head only spoke from logic, never diving any deeper. At times like these I wish I could tear out my insides, to actually be as truly hollow as I felt. Though I was just a paper doll, and I drifted in the wind and let her take me to where she saw fit. This is how it had to be. I reached for the pots and strapped them to my bag that was still on the ground next me to, and standing up I said "Rei-chan, promise me too, that you'll be okay.", she shook her head at me and crossed her arms, "Don't worry about me kid, you've got enough problems of your own." and after that little snip she reached up to wipe a tear from her eye and whispered a solemn, "I promise". With that it was as if all my ties had been cut to her, I picked up my bag and walked down the path we had just come from the night before, my path, and left Rei to go down hers. Though I before I could leave I heard call me again, and turned back to her to hear her last words, "What exactly is it that you're looking for? I've been traveling with you for three years and still don't know what it could be…" I smiled as I glanced away from those harsh emeralds, I don't even know how to touch that sentence. The only thing that came closest was, "A new me.", and I waiting snorted, then I heard her sigh, "aren't we all". Those being our last words, we walked down two different paths from each other, hers in her family name, and mine in the quest of self exploration. So I walked away, away from the endless adventures, the closest thing to a home I've ever gotten too, and best women I've ever known.

The walk was long back to spooky village, and it was lonely now that I didn't have someone standing beside me. I would miss her, I truly would, and that throb came back again, this time starting in my throat. Why I wanted to leave was because there wasn't a reason for me to stay anymore, Rei had said so herself. I was bored of the constant travel, and now I'm looking for something a little more sediment. Who knows what this village has in store for me, there an endless amount of possibilities that come with going to this new town. What will I learn, what will I see? These questions are the ones that kept me going, it was this almost obsessive curiosity that kept my feet going from one foot in front of the other. I had to find out what lay beyond that mist that blanketed the village itself, as if protecting it from eyes of the unknown. This is where I belonged right now, this is where the wind chose for me. How could I live without ever evening taking a glance inside? Staying with Rei wouldn't give me that option, I had to leave. It's nice to love and be loved, but I'd rather know all I could know. Though there was some small whisper of a voice that spoke "you didn't have to" and "you didn't really want to", and everytime it spoke that throb seemed as though it had transformed into a pull. A pull on what I didn't know, and I knew that that voice would quit after I got there. This wasn't the first time it reeled it's ugly head and it wouldn't be the last. Right now I just had to focus on making it, and drowning out that tiny voice in the background.

This village seemed tired, as if the clouds above it were holding the weight of the world on its shoulders. I was standing right at the edge of where the mist dissipated, the line in the sand from this path to that village. I couldn't help but admire it, it's lights shone brightly even in the dark, and something about that pulled me in. Like a moth to a flame I walked into the mist, and prayed the lights would lead in the right path. They didn't disappoint, even at this time in the night this village seemed to be alive. People were bustling from every which way in what looked to be a farmers market. It was getting pretty dark outside, so some had already started packing up their food carts, though some still stayed. Everything seemed to be set in its own routine, like everyone knew everyone and was already expecting what they would do. Another pull came from my chest, and I looked around and couldn't help but smile at how pleasant the atmosphere in the town radiated. Outside it was dark and kept its ever present shield that was in the form of the mist hanging around it at all times, never letting anybody too close. Though inside it was peaceful, with a lively energy that just beckoned people to come. Two polar opposites attributes, yet all in the same place. This village was definitely an enigma, one that I was ready to sink my claws into. I walked up to the first thing that caught my eye, a man who didn't seem to be paying much attention to anything besides inspecting each and everyone of his cabbages. "Hello" I said, walking up to his stand and waiting for his reply. I waited, and I waited, then I waited some more. Nothing. I cleared my throat to try again, this time louder, "Hello". Finally her turned his head toward me, and looked me up and down as if he was surprised I was standing in front of him, "you're not from around here…". I smiled at him, "Yup, you're right I'm not. Though I was wondering where a good place for me to go to to find room and board for the night?" he looked at me as though I had grown a third head, "You want what?!". I didn't like where this was going, maybe this man was senile and forgot how to talk to people… "Room and board?" I said quieter, now unsure that this man could really help me. He shook his head in big swoops, "You won't find that here sister, better off going to the next town over to find that sort of thing." Now it was my turn to look at him crazy, "You mean this town doesn't have an inn?" I asked, now really questioning this man's sanity. I mean what kind of village doesn't have an Inn? Even the most run down, beat up, seedy towns Rei and I cross through had Inns, and this place, with a farmers market, that would seem to attract a lot of revenue from different places, didn't? "Yup, not for strangers like you we don't" he went back to inspecting his cabbage, leaving me even more confused than before. What the hell did that mean? This man has to be insane, so I walked away from his stand and moved to the one down a ways, a women selling peaches. "Hello" I approached again, this time loud and with a smile, though her response was even worse. As soon as she turned around her smile dropped, she looked from my backpack to me, and again, and then turned back around as if I wasn't still standing there to begin with. What the hell had gotten into these people? It was like the people here were scared to talk to anybody new. I practically ran to the next open stand I saw, this time desperate, "Hello" I said, trying to make my voice sound nice and happy. This time there was another customer there, so the short man running the joint briefly nodded to me before continuing his sale. Though it take long before both the customer and the seller to slowing turn their head back to me, staring as if I were in my underwear. I tried smiling at them, and waved. The customer awkwardly waved back, while the man walked over to my side and whispered, "Just what in the devil do you think you're doing here?". I didn't know how to answer, I honestly just wanted to stay the night. Maybe longer perhaps? Though the reception I was receiving so far clearly indicated these people didn't want me here. But why? Why can't I stay here? I looked down at the man, "I'm looking for room and board, I was wondering if you knew of a place I could go?" He looked at me as if I had just spoken gibberish, then shook his head, "Look little girl, you don't want to stay here. Here's an apple, on me, it will give you enough energy to make it to the next town with some daylight left if you leave now." Never in all my travels has this ever happened to me. I stood there with my mouth hanging open, and as if on instinct reached up to grab the apple he practically threw at me. The one town I want to stay in doesn't even want me, the thought was too depressing for me to comprehend. Life is one cruel sick joke, huh? I stood in the middle of the farmers market, confused, alone, with one apple in hand. What the hell am I supposed to do now? Obviously in all my grandiose plans I had never thought to consider the fact that maybe this town didn't want any newcomers. I mean, what kind of town keeps afloat like that? What kind of place was this? And what kind of person doesn't have a backup plan? I knew I was dumb, but now I was looking mentally challenged. What type of person walks into a town and expects everyone to be nice and sweet and lets her sit in the comfy chair that is this town. I was so frustrated I felt like grabbing that man and shaking him till he understood I didn't have anywhere else to go, I had left everything behind for this. Though settled for digging my nails in my palms, squeezing until I could feel just the pinch of blood flow. I took a few deep breaths, okay, I'm in a town that I don't know, where no one wants to help me, and I'm pretty sure I'll get kicked out of soon. I glanced up at the lanterns, how there zig zag light showed me that path that would lead me right back from where I had came, just as they had lead me in, and I had no choice but to follow. Every step that took me out made that throb in my throat that hadn't gone away yet grow to a painful pulsing. It wouldn't stop, not even when I reached up and tried to soothe the ache it did nothing but constrict tighter and tighter. I swallowed some and kept on walking, it was all I could do now, and inside I felt even more empty than before. I felt as though if a strong enough breeze came along I would go right with it, letting it take me wherever it wanted. Though wasn't I doing that anyway? I sighed, the thought didn't relieve me any, and I kept my defeated march out of the place where no one wanted me. Out of my one dream that lasted a good 24 hours before it was crushed so swiftly. Now, I had nothing.


	4. New Beginnings

There was no thought to it, I put one foot in front of the other as I had been for years now. I guess I would never get off this road, and that thought alone seemed to put twenty pounds on my chest. I couldn't even began to entertain that thought now, and as the sun started sinking lower the air gradually grew a chill. I stopped and unloaded the my bag from my shoulders, pulling it forward so I could get my shawl from inside. And after persistent looking, and practically dumping the whole thing out I realized that I had let Rei borrow it the other day. She had always liked mine more, and everytime I pulled it out with both laughed at that memory of that time we stopped at the festival of flowers in the water country, and letting that drunk rich guy to buy these for us. He picked out the blue one for me, said it matched my eyes, and it was pretty spot on. The color blue was rich and deep, with some gray making it even more cool toned, though instead of my eyes it had reminded me of my last nanny, the one who I walked away from. Her grey hair was gray but it was so dark that sometimes it took a sheen of blue just in the right sunlight. Mito… I closed my eyes and squeezed them shut. I felt the pressure build behind my eyes, that same throb that I felt in my throat was everywhere now. I didn't even mind the cold anymore, all I wanted right now was to make this stop. I'm numb, I'm numb, _I'm numb_. I felt a familiar feeling well up in my chest, that sudden dark sadness. I couldn't ignore it this time, it's deep unsettling feeling washed over me. 'It's eating you' that little voice now whispered, and God did I ever want to claw it out. Though some sane part in me knew it was right, the darkness inside me was slowly encroaching its ways out, looking for the surface. I've been in this war all my life, losing ground and taking it back, in constant battle with that other side of me. It would always worm its way out in the most difficult times, starting with a simple thought or action, though most of the time I was quick to slam that mental door shut before it could reach any further. I wasn't fast enough tonight, and it had spread so quick, breaking down all those walls that I had built to shield myself from what I don't want to know. I didn't even feel the first tear fall, and as I looked up at the stars I noticed there was more where that came. I don't know where to go from here, and just admitting that felt like a stab in the chest, but I couldn't fight it anymore. I'm not smart like Rei, I before I had met her I was just barely making it by. Thinking back now it seems as though she had all the answers, and I wish she was here. I wish Mito could be here too, if only so I could hear just sing that sad song one more time. Right now, when I was truly alone, I missed the people who I had left. The people who I abandoned, on a dream that I could change. Before it was okay, I knew both of us would be better with me gone. I was okay with being alone, and they were better off without without me. Though I knew those were just lies I would tell to justify my leaving, for not resisting that call to my soul to protect itself. All of these feelings came all at once from deep within, the ones I had been refused to acknowledge for so long now taking their vengeance in the darkness that guided them. Guilt and shame. I know I hurt them when I left, it was written all over their face, and yet I still walked away. Like nothing we had meant anything, as if they were just disposable figures in my life. They both mean so much to me, but how could they ever know. The ice that I hate about myself protected me from getting hurt, let me put on a mask that hid everything that I felt. Made it easier for me to just pretend that the emotion wasn't real, almost as if it were never there to began with. But it was, it was always there, hiding inside with the darkness, waiting for its day to rush to the surface. I'm always running, whether it's from people, commitment, or just myself, there was no rest for a girl who is scared of everything. I felt more tears run down my face, I'm so scared to allow myself to let go because I don't know what will happen if I do. I don't want to be hurt, I've seen what it does to people and I don't know if I'll be able to come back if I sunk that low. My mother... But I'm tired of running, I'm tired of leaving, jumping into that cycle of pushing my feelings back until they break their barriers. I want to feel, I want to love, I want to be a better person. Someone who doesn't hurt, someone who isn't afraid. I want to be strong, like Rei and Mito. My soul was calling for a change, and I follow wherever she leads me. There's a change that's going to come, I don't know where or when, all I know is that I will be here for it.

Then I saw lights, dim but still shining. I couldn't help the smile that stretched my face, and I felt that little spark of life light up again. Yes, maybe this was my answer. Though before I could get too excited I straighten my face and tried to focus, okay, it looked to be some kind of bar or something, and in the distance I could see even more lights behind it. So this must be the halfway stop from that place behind me and the place in front of me. And after quickly throwing everything back into my bag, I walked closer and studied the people who I could see inside. Well, from where I was they all seemed to be bobbing heads, so their all alive, and I guess that was a good sign, right? No, remember what happened last time you walked into a place blind, all those people were alive too, and very mean. So I waited until I saw someone else walk in, it was actually two people. Both seemed to be travelers, with their cool matching cloaks shielding them from the cold. I watched to see if they would be rejected, and after about 10 min I couldn't wait any longer and walked to the entrance. What the hell, I can't get kicked out of two different places twice in one night, It will be like lighting striking in the same place twice… Hopefully. As I got closer the more I noticed it wasn't the nicest place, and it was most definitely a bar. With the shady atmosphere it gave off and the loud voices that boomed inside with laughter and grander there was no mistaking it. For a second I debated whether or not I really wanted to deal with this tonight. Just a few minutes ago I was crying my eyes out, and now all of a sudden I'm craving a drink. Meh, what better of a place to celebrate your new beginning than in a shady run down old bar? I was trying to chase this chill out of my system anyway, so with the call of a alcohol and stupidity on my side I walked in. The first thing I noticed was that it was, in fact packed. There wasn't a single space where you could sit back and relax, where ever you looked there was people. So I settled for the cramped bar, and after taking my seat that I'm pretty sure I stole from some guy who got up to use the restroom, I took another glance around, and suddenly my stomach dropped. It was all men. From left to right I scoured the place desperately searching for a feminine face, though the closest thing that I found was one of the two guys who had came in before me. Now that I was closer I could see that actually their matching cloaks were black with red clouds. There was a blond one and a red headed one, and the blond one was the one I wasn't really sure was a boy or a girl. He… She… it had very soft features, and had long hair, and was wearing makeup and nail polish. Though his or hers build was that of a lean man or a muscular girl. Maybe he was just a very feminine guy, or a masculine girl. Though maybe he or she didn't really care for the gender thing, and that was cool too. "What can I get ya?" I looked back to the expecting bartender in front of me, somewhat shy now after being caught in my thoughts, "Sake, please" . He smiled, "Would you believe you're the first please I've gotten all night?", he shook his head with laughter and turned around to fill the dish and set it in front of me, "You'd think there would be more people who still knew how to use their manners", and with that he sighed. This old man was nice, he reminded me of the field hands who I would work with when I traveled with Rei. His skin leathery, small bony hands calloused, with a gentle look in his brown eyes that seemed so sincere, and almost concerned. So I smiled back at him, "yeah tell me about it" and threw that little dish back. The burn was satisfying, in the way it flooded over my chest and up my neck with a warmth that chased that chill of numbness away. It sure as hell felt better than feeling nothing at all. I plopped it down in front of him again and watched as he raised his brow with question, "Had a rough day?". "Where do I even begin…" he turned around, though instead of refilling the glass brought the bottle in front of me. I couldn't help but giggle at the sight, "You looked like you could use it" and watched as I began to fill up my dish again. What the hell I guess I could, I'm celebrating after all. Though sober me was already warning tipsy me to stop after the fourth bowl, I couldn't be caught without my wits in a place like this. I took my backpack off and moved it so it sat in between my legs on the bar stool and heaved a sigh, I am really tired. I felt eyes on me so I looked up, back to the old bartender who was still standing there, "You know…" he began, reaching in front so he could pick up a tumblr and a rag to start drying it, "I don't make it habit of mine to ask questions where they aren't needed, but I have to know, what is a little girl like you doing in a place like this?". The question took me back, I didn't know what to tell him. 'Yeah today I left my best friend to go to this stupid town where they kicked me out before I could even get two feet in and then had a mental breakdown on the way over here' in my head I cringed. I guess I could tell him what I told Rei, "I'm looking for a new me", he snorted and shook his head, "well if you're looking for that, you're not gonna find it in a bar, especially this one". I smiled up at him, trying to contain my giggles, "well you know what they say, leave no stone unturned", to which he replied with a hardy laugh, "that may be true, though if you're looking for a new you, you should start with avoiding places like these. These types of places will bring you nothing but misery. I know, I own one. Seen it happen a dozen times." I smiled again, this nosy old mans concern made me feel real warmth inside, stronger than that of the artificial substance that I had just consumed, "I don't plan on making this a habit, actually I really don't have a taste for the stuff.", I looked away from his earnest eyes, "though sometimes, every now and then everyone needs a little liquid courage.". He sighed at that, "Ahh, I see. You're not trying to find a new person at the end of a bottle, you're just trying to work up the nerve to be one." I nodded at that, and took another drink, "So where are you headed too?". I could have laughed at that, and I almost did, though just settled with shrugging my shoulders, "your guess is as good as mine, old man." He stared into my eyes, it was unnerving, having someone dissect you with just their eyes, though his held a different quality to them. He wasn't just looking at me, but at who I was and who I wanted to be as well. "Nowhere to go, nothing to be, just trying to find a new me." he replied with a knowing look, a look I knew was beyond my years. One that read of understanding and something else I couldn't quite get my head wrapped around yet, and could only say "Well when you put it like that…" then the door opened again, and It was as though somebody had flipped a switch, all of a sudden nobody was talking anymore. I could hear the guy on the other side of me breathing, that's how quiet it was. Though the two strangers didn't seem to mind in the least, they kept their causal place and strolled to the table where the blond guy was. That's when I noticed, they all had the same matching cloak on, black with red clouds. Although these two that had just come in had a dangerous quality about them, something wasn't right. Based on their appearance alone they were questionable, I mean one was a giant blue shark guy and the other was a guy who looked like he hadn't had a good night's rest in weeks. Poor thing, though I didn't feel that much pity, it was as if I was standing in front of a hungry tiger, my body had froze and I didn't know what to do with myself. I was torn between making a dash for the door or jumping behind the counter, and honestly I think that's what everyone else had in mind too. After the shark guy had secured both him and his buddy two seats straight out from under two other guys, who after falling to the floor made a beeline for the door, they both took seats at the round table that their friends had secured before them. Then after taking some time to get settle in his seat, the shark guy took a long slow glance at the entire expanse of the room, as if telepathically communicating with every individual in there. And taking their cue, everybody stood up and made their way to the door, and just like that it was empty. I looked to my left and right, both men who had been there before were now nowhere to be seen, and I was left in the open. Slowly the bartender came around, and I hadn't realized from behind the counter that he was actually a lot older from the face down, and a lot shorter. He looked so frail trying carry all those cups in both his hands, and before he could drop one I ran over to help him. He gave me a thankful smile at first, that slowly melted into a look of horror as he kept bobbing his eye from me to the group on him on the other side of the room. "Miss, you have to leave!" he wheezed out. Well, looks like lighting can strike in twice, I thought with a deadpan look. I opened my mouth to let him know I was on my way out, but before I could I was interrupted, "Yo, Miroku, who's this?" I looked over to the shark guy again and saw that he was looking at the old man pointedly and nodded in my direction, waiting for his response. "Ugh- oh-uh…" the old man stammered, desperately looking for an answer to give the shark guy. Gone was the confident wise elder who I had been talking to just a few seconds ago, so I spoke up. What better a time to start being a better person than now? "I'm just helping out", his yellow eyes snapped to me, and for a second I felt like I was in the middle of the ocean, and I could see a that ominous fin racing towards me, ready to drag me under that deadly water. He rose an eyebrow, "Oh? So you finally took my advice and hired on some help, huh?" and before I could correct him, I was yet again interrupted, though this time by the old man, "Y-yes, I thought it would be a good fit, since she's from from far off a such…" I looked to the old man, and his gaze held mine, his look stern, as if daring me to question him. I knew something more was going on here besides just two men having a conversation, so I played along. Those sharp yellow eyes had zipped back to me again, "Is that so?". He gave me a once over, and I could tell he was about to ask me a question, but apparently it was his turn to get interrupted, "This isn't the time for chit chat, Kisame, let's get on with this! I don't want to be here all night", oh, so the blond on was definitely a boy, his voice being very much so masculine. The shark guy gave the blond guy an annoyed look, but then turned his attention back to me, "I'll see you tomorrow then". What just happened? I looked to the old guy, who had gone back to picking up dishes, so I joined. I mean, apparently I work here now so I guess. Just what did I just get myself thrown into?


	5. First Encounters

Lights, that was the first thing I saw this morning. Little glowing dots circling around my eyelids like scattered butterflies. Flying with no purpose, going this way and that, wherever it's little heart choose for it to go, it followed. On a whim, on a chance, without any purpose. I opened my eyes and turned my head away from the light source that was the window, I didn't want to be bothered today. I felt as though I couldn't move, as though all my bones had suddenly been weighed down by ten-ton boulders. I don't want to move, and at that realization, I closed my eyes. Freedom, the liberty of doing as you wish, had suddenly been stripped away from me. I feel as though I had lost something, something very important to me, and now with it, I don't know what to do. I curled into myself, hoping that would enough comfort to get me through the day, but even still this weight hadn't lifted. Everything had gone to shit in one night, in one night I had lost everything. My friends, my family, my hopes, my dreams, and my livelihood, everything just torn from me in one horrible night, based off of one stupid decision. I wanted to leave, I wanted to change not realizing that I already had was everything I ever wanted. My life with Rei was just fine, why did I want to leave that? I felt a twinkle touch my cheek, and then another. Soon they were all falling down, so much so that I knew it was pointless to try and wipe those tears away. I'm ruined, that's what that little voice was saying now. I've ruined myself, my heart was my own destruction, I sobbed at the thought. Every tear that hit the pillow underneath me darken the already navy blue into a black and that black felt as though it was enveloping me whole. I cried, and I fell into that darkness that I had fought for so many years. There was nothing to stop me now, there was nowhere to run anymore, nothing to promise me a change, this crappy life in this torn up bar was all I was ever going to know now. I lifted my hand to cover the sob that escaped and cried harder. I'm ruined, everything is ruined. I could feel the darkness swell around me as if with all my negative thoughts and energy it grew more and more. The darkness that had hidden in my existence for so long now had now manifested into the world, and it hungered for more of this sadness. I couldn't fight it anymore, I didn't know how everything that once made me me is now lost or taken from me. I am lost, without my freedom, without my hopes, my dreams, I'm nothing. All I could now was lay here in this bed, and wish that things were different.

'Tink'

At first, I pretended I didn't hear anything and continued to drown myself in my woes, but then I heard it again, that sharp 'tink'. I froze from crying and glanced around me, to see if maybe it was me who was making that noise.

'Tink', nope, it's definitely not me. I knew where it was coming from, but I really didn't have the energy to go see what was tapping on my window right now. Honestly, I didn't care, I didn't care about anything anymore. My soul, myself, the window, anything. All I wanted to do was disappear somehow into these sheets I was under, and go away as if I never existed in the first place.

'Tink' I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, I don't know what to expect later on today, but right now I know that I don't have the will to face it.

'TINK TINK TINK TINK TINK TINK TINK' I sat up straight in bed and looked at the window that stood facing me on my right side. Outside was a crow, raven? A big black bird. We both sat there, one with indifference, and one with obvious disdain, staring at each other. Eye to eye with this huge black bird, something in me clicked. My freedom is in my control, I don't have to listen to that old man, those weird club members, or even this dumb crow who thinks it can get me out of bed. I don't have to take shit from anyone, and I'm not going to. I don't have to sit here in bed all day and wish things were different, not when I can make them different. I'm leaving right now. I walked over to the widow pushed the lock up and threw the window open. The crow flew away from the window with a caw, as if telling me to watch out, and then proceeded to fly into the room and make itself comfortable on the dresser that was on the other side of the room, still staring at me. I stared back for a few, then glanced back out the window. The ground was still fresh with dew, and the sun was only partially risen, making a beautiful view of its raising over the lake. The sun, the ground, my home. My old way of life ached for me to come back, and my heart grew heavy with regret. That was what I was feeling this whole time, ever since I left Rei, and even Mito, that darkness that sunk my chest and made my throat throb. The darkness, it was regret. All of sudden I was hit with this newfound clarity, looking out the window I didn't feel hopeless, instead, I felt like I could make a way. I can do this, once more. I can be by myself, I can make it to the next village and then the village after that. I can do this. I can leave. The path was right here in front of my eyes, only waiting for me to make that choice.I felt a chill run its way across my body and looked back at the bird, still sitting on the dingy dresser, watching me during my epiphany. I don't know who he is, I don't know where he came from, all I know is he's the reason I'm getting out of this place. I looked out the window, gauging the distance between the second story and the ground. With this sheet and cover tied together, I think I can make it. I moved to the bed and grabbed the blanket and sheet, separating them and tying their ends together. I walked back over to the window and threw them out, tying the end still left in my hand on the dresser where the bird was sitting foot.

I stood back up and made eye contact with it one more time, "You can stay, I gotta go", it squawked at me in return. I shrugged at it and made my way for the window, grabbed my big bag of nothing, and turned around one last time to that big black crow, that unintentionally made me get a grip on life and keep myself going, "sayonara" and with one last salute I dropped down the makeshift rope, sliding all the way to the ground, and landing with a 'thump' on my rump. "Ow…" I sat up and rubbed my butt which was now sore, hiked up my bag and made my way for the lake. They could kill me, these men, they could kill me dead before I even felt anything. Though for some reason I wasn't scared if anything this was the most alive I had felt in a very long time. I felt as though nothing scared me anymore, because… "Hmph, the window" I looked down to see that old man Miroku coming back from a beaten path stretched out in front of me, a pail of fish in his hands and a homemade fishing rod on his shoulders. His clothes were dirty and tied up, and there was already sweat on his brow, just how long has this man been awake for? It's the butt crack of dawn, is he insane? His face was focused on my makeshift rope to freedom, and the smirk that fiddled across his face made me heat up with anger, and if I weren't too proud I would admit embarrassment. His eyes trailed from the thing that was my escape to freedom to my narrowed eyes and puffed out face.

Raising his brows he said, "The door works just fine.", and with that went my last sense of hope. I felt as though a rock had just been dropped through my body, and all I wanted to do was scream.

"I wasn't just looking for an exit, old man" I said through gritted teeth, "I was trying to escape.". "Oh" was all he replied with, looking back at the contraption that was now hanging out the window with no purpose, and then back to me with squinted eyes, "it looks like you wanted to be caught too".

That was it, I growled and stomped my foot into the cold, wet ground, turning back to where I knew the entrance was. All the while I could hear this dumb old man's laugh ringing in my ears, throwing out words like "too easy", "a kid could do better".

Tomorrow, tomorrow I'll get out of this godforsaken place. I huffed again at the door and waited for the old man to fish out his keys from inside his worn-out shirt, "so is that breakfast?" he looked down at the pail then back to me, "for me yes", I rolled my eyes at his answer.

"So you're gonna keep me here hostage and not even feed me? What kind of host are you?". He chuckled again in the gravely old wheeze of a laugh, the kind that only expelled from the blackest lungs that knew nothing but smoke and tar, "a bad one I guess".

Finally, he opened the door, and I followed him up the stairs to where his living quarters laid. "This fish here is breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I wake up before the sun every morning and go out there and fish, then when I catch my full I bring it in clean it, cook it, then go about my business till lunch, and after that, I take a nap."

"I didn't ask for your daily routine, old man", I sneered from the other side of his kitchen counter, I don't even know what I was still doing in here for. I should just go back to that prison cell of a room, crawl into the bed after untying all the knots, and then just sleep my day away. It's not like I had anything else to do anyway. He turned with his gutting knife pointed at me, "Look here missy, you want to make it in this house you gotta follow the rules."

"So you're saying I have to go fish for my every meal?"

"No, but you do gotta get your own, I'm not gonna go easy on ya just cause you're a young pretty girl, you know?".

That fact that he added in about me being pretty made my skin crawl in the most disgusting way possible, but I shoved that feeling down just enough to ask more questions.

"So you're saying I can't go to a store?", he looked up from current task, which was pulling out all the organs that that poor fish had just been using a few hours ago, and shook his head, " I never said that I just said you have to find your own meals here."

Okay, great here's my chance, I'll pull a 'going out for a carton of milk and never coming back', easy. I smiled to myself just thinking about that town next over, and how it would be so much better than living in this sack of shit. Actually, I wouldn't even settle to the next town, I would go all the way to the next country and then find my forever home. I'm not staying in this vicinity any longer than I have too if I have to catch a ride with another gypsy group I will, cause I'm not staying here, that's for sure. My eyes twinkled with just the thought of leaving and flipping off this old man and that weird gang club thing. Especially that shark guy, actually everyone at that table that made me feel like a defenseless kitten. When I get out of these walls, I sighed just dreaming of it. But why dream? I could leave now.

"Okay so I'm off to get a few things from the village next over then…" I tried to run out before he could say anything, but apparently, he had a sharp tongue, "I'll send for the boy then". Boy? Turned around, face scrunched up with confusion, "Boy?", was there someone else living here? "Yes, boy, he's from that town, sometimes he comes to work for me, when his mom can't pay the bills and stuff, he'll take you into town and get you to where you need to be. Otherwise those people would eat you alive." he shook his head and continued doing whatever it was now to his fish, though I couldn't help the scuff that came out of my lips, "look, I've been traveling for a long time old man, I think I know a thing or two by now"

"Oh yes I remember from our talk last night, you did say you had been searching for something", I frowned at the memory, it was hard to believe that this scrawny old man standing in front of me now had been the same guy from the night before who basically looked into my soul

"Yes... I am searching for something.", I looked to the wood floors underneath my feet, now a new feeling other than annoyance and impatience was taking over, something that left me feeling exposed

"Well whatever it is you're looking for, maybe you'll find it here" and with that he dumped the scraps into a trash can next to him, wiping bloody hands on his weathered shorts, "I'll call for the boy"

"No!" I said too loud, with too much emotion, now he would know for sure I was up to something. "No…" I said again, trying to play it off with a forced laugh that even hurt my ears listening too. "I would hate to waste his time, you know he seems so busy, trying to help pay his moms bills and such. Why don't I just go into town myself today, scope it out a bit, and then when I come back I'll let you know if I need help in the future or not, how does that sound?" My smile so forced that it felt like it was cutting into my cheekbones. Hoping beyond hope that he would fall for this nice girl act, "no, because then you'll just run away". I visibly deflated, practically turning into mush where I stood.

"JUST LET ME LEAVE OLD MAN! I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR HELP LAST NIGHT AND I'M SURE AS HELL NOT ASKING FOR IT NOW" I couldn't hold it in anymore, I don't want to be stuck here, not for a day, not for a week, and definitely not my whole life.

He turned around, finger pointed in my face with the authority of someone years beyond me, "NO! YOU WILL DIE! YOU'RE STAYING HERE ALIVE AND THAT'S IT! I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU DIE ON MY WATCH!" I threw my arms in the air with a growl, and walked off to my very own personal prison cell, "YOU'LL THANK ME LATER KID! I huffed in his direction and slammed my door, "BE READY IN FIVE MINUTES!" This was gonna be harder than I thought.

Writers Note: Airi is learning how to recognize her emotions and do something about them instead of running away from them :) It's called growth sweetie.


	6. New Resolutions

p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "This is him?" I turned back to look at Miroku, currently sitting at the table, arms folded and dirty dishes still stacked on top of each other in front of him. He nodded, and glanced at Kappei, the 'boy' who he had fetched to watch me while I went into town today, and then back to me. My head moved back to the child who couldn't be more than thirteen in front of me. He had such a grown way about him, just how he stood in the middle of the living room with such an authoritative stance made me want to roll my eyes and pinch his cheeks at the same time. His dark eyes were so hard already, probably witness to the countless atrocities that life could dish out. He was so young too, it made me want to cry and laugh at the same time. This wasn't the first worn out kid I had met before, but it didn't make its effects any less disheartening when I came face to face with the product of a cruel world. "You're just a baby," I said looking into his eyes and shaking my head with realization. I couldn't help the words that came tumbling it out. I know Rei would have said the exact same thing too, and that made my heart swell. What would she say if she were here now? Probably laugh at me for having a kid tour guide, then pull this kid into the tightest hug. She had a way about her that needed to protect things. Things like me at one point, and probably this kid too. Maybe I should hug him too, or maybe.../span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""First off lady, I ain't no kid. Second of all, I'm taller than you. Ahh heck, let's just get this over with. The faster I get paid the faster I can get back home and practice." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"My eyes widened, nearly popping out of my head. The geisha training in me gasped in scandalized shock at how the art of conversation had been executed so badly in so many ways. So much for first impressions… /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""They didn't teach you about manners where you come from, did they?" I raised my brows at this punk and crossed my arms, ready to let this kid have it, and by it, I meant the geisha house training in conversational skills. Then I heard a cackle from behind me, "You must have missed that lesson too, missy", I could feel my brow drop in annoyance, who invited that old fart into this conversation? Apparently, this kid thought that was funny though, and gave a brief huff in humor. Which made my squint turn more into a scowl, now directed at him. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Go on Kappei, take this lady to the village and get her what she needs." Miroku stood and grabbed his dishes from the table, still talking while wobbling his way toward the kitchen, "and make sure she doesn't go anywhere, she's special so she needs extra help." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Special? I heard a faint "oh" come from the kid, and turned to see the look of contained pity on his face. What the hell? Special? Then it dawned on me, he's saying I'm… my face lit up in red. I can't believe this old man had the audacity to say that I'm… ME. I balled my hands into fists, and looked up, biting my tongue. Just get to the village, that's all you can do now. Just get to the village and take off running. I looked back at the kid who was now avoiding eye contact with me and rolled my eyes for what felt like the hundredth time today heading for the door. This kid can think what he wants to. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Let's go, I don't have all day either" I called behind me, hearing Kappei's light footsteps trail after me. It felt so good to be physically walking out of that bar like the world was at my fingertips and all I had to do was reach out. And it was, it was all around me on this beaten path. Looking up and seeing the sky made gave me such a burst of energy that felt like I could sing right now, but then I looked behind me and saw this brat still there. Which made all those good feelings flush down the drain that was my conscious. "So just how far away is this village?" I asked, trying to make his stiff shoulders somewhat loose. People say I have a way about me, where I can make anyone feel comfortable. 'A homey feeling' that's what Rei called it, 'like something you've known all your life, but just met for the first time'. It's why I did so good as a maiko, it was normal for girls to take years to finish their apprenticeship. I finished mine a just one year after I began. Being the daughter of the best Geisha in the house, I had started my training ever since I was born. Perfecting my social skills until it became second nature, I had ingrained them into myself, just to try and be like her. Also being the favorite of some very important men that came in had its perks. From them I started to get more requests, first being requested by their associates, and so on and so on. All we did was talked, I've never been one to be shy about things, so even when it wasn't polite I gave my opinion. It probably made no difference to them, they were cold-hearted old farts who didn't care about anything but themselves. Though I knew it was entertaining for them to hear what I had to say, not only by the way they smiled and engaged me further but because it was new to them. They were so used to women sitting back and letting the men talk, never voicing their concerns or beliefs because it wasn't the 'ladylike' thing to do. The only difference between me and them is I know how to play the conversation song. I could see which cords to string that would cause a reaction, never too offensive of course, and which ones to harmonize with in order to fade back into the status quo. Balancing the tensions in a room is second nature to me, keeping them low, though in a constant wave of up and down, just to keep things interesting. The thrill of it all is that you never really know what the person you're talking to is gonna say, but you can lead them in a direction you want them to go. All the while letting them think their the ones coming up with the ideas themselves. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""It's not too far, just a ways up from here…" He didn't really look at me when he spoke, and I know it is because he thinks there's something wrong with me. Though I'm sure Miroku didn't know just how much of an advantage this could give me. I could play this kid like a fiddle, pull the innocent card and get the directions I needed, and he wouldn't mind giving me the specifics because he probably didn't think I would know what to do with them, being 'slow' and all. Then go on a 'potty break' and tear ass, never seeing this kid or that old man ever again. I could, but as I turned to look at the boys face, I knew I wouldn't. Being a better person meant putting others before yourself, and I knew this kid would get the short end of the deal should I just run away. I don't know what kind of punishment that old man would give him, and if what he said about that ninja group was true… I couldn't put him through that. He's just a kid… He caught me staring and turned his eyes away quick. I smiled to myself and looked down at the beaten dirt path in front of me. I'm not going to get away today, that thought alone made that throb in my throat come back. Though this was enough to just get a taste of it and to know the way for when I do make my escape. I gave a big sigh through my nose, just for the drama of it. "Do you need to rest lady?", he asked in such a kind way, now that he thought I was slow he was actually being a polite gentleman. I smiled at him, "Ah, there are those manners! So good to hear!" I clapped my hands in front of me too, for the effect. He rolled his eyes, "I don't think you're as special as Miroku-san was making you out to be". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I laughed, "Awe that's not true, I am special!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"He turned his head over toward where I was standing next to him, and proceeded to give me a long and slow once over. Then snorted while pursing his lips, and set his attention on the road again, "nope, he was right. There's something crazy about you, that's for sure." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I glared up at the side of his head, "you know you should show your elders more respect. It's not mannerly to be rude to people who know more than you." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Elders? What are you? 16?" He snorted again, though this time it was pointed in my direction. The disrespectful action causing my eye to twitch, remember Airi, this is a kid. A tall kid with a big ass attitude for no reason. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Actually I'm twenty, and trust me when I say you're gonna regret not listening to them when you had the chance too." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Kappei stopped and turned his whole body to face toward me, his jaw opened and teeth hanging out, "you're twenty?!". I stopped and gave him a look, taken aback. Why the hell is he so surprised? I look like what a normal twenty years old looks like. With my body being filled out and my face isn't what you would call 'child-like'. As soon as I turned 13 the baby fat in my cheeks decided to drop away from my face and left me with a gaunt than normal. I remember what Mito use to say about my aging looks, "You're going to be sharp, just like your mother". She had meant it as a compliment, but she didn't know just how much more it meant to me to be even the slightest bit like my mother back then. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Yeah…" I finally said, returning his confused look with an even more perplexed expression. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"He shook his head in disbelief, "You look so young compared to all the girls in Kujira Shima… You look like you haven't even lived yet!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""What the hell does that mean?" I shouted back, now defensive. I do look like I have lived, lived a hell of a life at that. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Come on look at my shoes! You can't even tell me you ever seen cool shoes like these before! This is proof that I've lived a full and exciting life!" I picked up my leg to show him the cool Chinese inspired shoe that I had seen one day while passing through a desert town with Rei. They were adorned with lovely designs of gold paisley reaching all the way from the side and connecting on the front where a lovely black cloud was on the tip of my toe. When I first laid eyes on them I knew they were something special, and I remember word for word what that greasy vendor had said about them. "These right here are shoes that were made for a real women" his brown smile and the way he was so delicately holding them sold me even more, "made to be worn in a palace". "Made for a princess?" I asked, smiling that goofy, obviously flirty, smile hoping to distract him long enough so Rei could sneak some jade ring she saw as well on to her finger and be on her way. His smiled changed, it went from swazy salesman to something a little naughtier very quickly, "Of course, a princess such as yourself would be the only fitting thing for shoes such as these." I put my hand in front of my smile and blushed on demand, another trick from geisha training. I reached out to touch the soft silk that they were made out of. They looked so regal, something that when you slipped your feet in and you were instantly elevated in style and status. These shoe's had been made for someone important, I could tell with the craftsmanship and the detail. "Come, come try them on" he beckoned me to the other side of the counter, where a couple more boxes sat that was full of other junk he was trying to make a buck on. I sat on the one in front of him and took off my pack, sneakily loosening my yukata just the slightest bit to make sure that when he looked down he got an eyeful. He handed me the shoes from behind, and to finally hold them in my hands was an experience like no other. They were beautiful, elegant, royal, everything I wanted and more. "They're so soft…" I said, making sure to play my part still and stroking the side of the shoe with a little more seduction than I had too. He let out a sigh," Yes, they certainly look it" and I could feel his eyes damn near fondling my chest. I just smile though, I had him right where I wanted him, and he didn't even know it. I slipped the shoes on my feet and gasped when they fit perfectly. They looked as though they were made for me, and I couldn't help the big smile that took over my face. "They're perfect…" I whispered out, more to myself than to him. Though when I glanced behind I could see he was much too preoccupied with my chest to really pay any real attention to what I was saying anyway. I slipped the other one on and stood slowly, keeping his attention where I wanted it, and letting my kimono slip just a little farther down my shoulders. "I just have to show my friend how perfect these are! She's going to love them!" I said, already knowing he didn't really give a damn what I was talking about, he just wanted to keep looking at what I was willing to show. He slowly nodded his head, "Yes, yes of course…" I almost laughed, he couldn't have made it more obvious when he didn't even look me in the eyes while he was nodding his head. I grabbed my pack and turned back to him, make sure to bounce just the slightest bit, "I'll be right back!", he simper grew, and now a gross red blush was starting spread over his face like he was drunk. I turned around walked out and never came back like I promised I would. I met Rei on the other side of the market strip, "you know one day you're gonna meet a man who doesn't like you pretty Airi-chan" she smiled at me, shaking her head when she looked down to see what was on my feet. "Everyone likes boobs Rei-chan, that's a fact" I shrugged at her. We both laughed together and continued our way out. We didn't make this a habit of course, and it wasn't our only way of getting what we needed. Sometimes we worked in the fields with the other seasonal workers, sometimes we lived off the kindness of strangers, and other times we just took what we wanted. We weren't the type to stay for too long anyway, so it didn't matter which mode of fulfillment we took. We would just go to a new town and have a begin our fresh start all over again like the things in the past didn't affect us. Plus Rei always justified our stealing by saying nothing belonged to anybody in the first place, and that everything was mother nature's to begin with. Honestly, I had never guilty about doing those things when I was in the moment, though now thinking back my heart hurt just a little bit while looking down at this shoe that still looked as beautiful as the day I had stolen them. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""You just look like some spoiled rich girl to me," Kappei said pulling me out of my reminiscing and shrugging his shoulders at my shoes in a nonchalant way. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I raised my brows, "Spoiled rich girl, huh? Well, then I won't tell you the story of how I got them…" I said, putting my foot down and crossing my arms, huffing a little as I walked away. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""How interesting can the story be? What your boyfriend bought them for ya or something?" he asked, following after me while still looking at them. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Nope" I said, shaking my head./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Your dad?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""I don't have one so nope again" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Then how did you get them?" he asked, genuinely interested to hear now. I smirked a little to myself, but couldn't help that pinch that pulled on something inside me when I said my means of attaining them, "I stole them" I threw over my shoulder. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""What?! You stole them and got away with it?! In Kujira Shima they cut off your hand for doing something like that! How did you do it?!" I turned around to look at him, and instead of seeing an uncomfortable, too stiff to even walk right boy who I had came down this road with, now there was a kid who was not afraid to express himself and show an emotion other than aggravation. I smirked to myself again, he didn't even know I had him right where I wanted him too. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"strong id="docs-internal-guid-c3d1d5cd-7fff-8507-0364-a8a8854fbf8e" style="font-weight: normal;" /strong/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" This place was… busy to say the least. Everywhere you turned there were people and a lot of them at that. So many people were bustling left to right, up and down the narrow streets that were muddy from the over passage that seemed constant. Everyone acting as if they had to be somewhere and were a rush to get there. Yet it was ironic how a place so full of energy and excitement had an insistent aura of gloom. From the moment we walked up to the first shops in this village I could tell this wasn't a friendly place either. Almost like my dream village where I had tried to stop at last night, they weren't kind to strangers. Though at least they grace you with a glare of contempt and address you in the rudest way possible. I learned that when I accidentally bumped into some lady while walking down the crowded main street, "don't pay attention to them" Kappei had said casually, "everyone's like that here". Imagine growing up in this dump I thought to myself, taking a look down the streets that smelled like sewer and burning trash. I looked down at my precious shoes and debated taking them off right then and there, but was distracted from the thought when I felt my hand getting pulled in the opposite direction. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""You gotta be quick here lady, nobody's gonna wait around for ya to get yourself together" Kappei said, now holding onto my hand and leading down another street that looked like it was connected to some type of market place./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Look kid, I've been to a lot of villages before, I know how to walk in them" I let go of his hand and glanced around me, looking to see if there was any type of store around where I could buy myself some new clothes. Not that I needed them, I just wanted to feel good, and buying clothes made me feel like I was getting a present from myself to myself. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""The Marketplace is down this way though" he said, turning back to see me searching the shops near me, trying to find something worth my while. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Yeah, I'm not looking for a Marketplace though kid" I said, now walking a completely opposite street toward a store where I saw some fine fabrics in the windows. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Uhh… just tell me what you're looking for. I'll help you find a store" he said, all of a sudden standing in front of me./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" I glared up at him, "I found the store I want" I said, moving around him and making my way down the street again. That was until I felt him grab my hand again, "Look lady I don't think you'll wanna go down that street… " He looked off into the distance, not meeting my eye. What the hell is so wrong with this street? /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Why not?" I asked I could see a faint blush form on the tops of his cheeks, so cute on his innocent face. His eyes went in so many directions at once, "um… it's the lady district… " he said, he let go of my hand and moved it so he was now scratching the back of his head, "you know... working ladies". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Oh… So what?" I turned around and headed to that shop, now set on going. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""But the only ladies who shop in these stores are…" he didn't have time to finish before I cut him off, "Look kid you don't have to come with me, wait for me at the end of the street and I'll meet you over there when I'm done, okay?" I asked, smiling sweetly at him. I'm sure places like this made him uncomfortable, and this gave me the perfect time to get away and get some information about this place and find out which way was the quickest way out of here. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"He looked to me and then away again, "Yeah but Miroku said to keep an eye on ya…" he looked so unsure./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "I'll meet up with you again, I promise." I grabbed his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Trying to convey to him that this was a promise I actually intended to keep. He rubbed his face and groaned in annoyance, "okay but be quick! And don't get into any trouble…" and with that, he headed down the street and left me to my own devices. I sighed in relief at this little bit of freedom I was given and headed toward the store again. This didn't look like any red light district I've ever been too, I thought to myself while looking around at the obvious grime that enveloped this whole place. First of all, there weren't any men around, it was looked empty. Only about two or three people were even walking down the street, and they all seemed to be in that hurried fashion that everyone walked in around here, except maybe even more rushed. The building that held the fabrics in the window itself actually was one of the more cleaner places around here. It had a decent display in the window and was somewhat appealing to the eye, not harboring that somber outlook that the rest of the village held. Instead, it seemed more separated, as if this were an unattainable place for regular people who lived here. I walk in and was surprised to see the selection of clothing options and fabrics was actually pretty expansive. It seemed as though they had a little bit of everything, and it screamed expensive. I smiled, I was in the right place indeed. There were two other women in the store as well, and they seemed to be accompanied by some rather rough looking men. I met their eyes as I walked over to where the Obi sashes were displayed, looking for a color that I didn't already have. I could tell that group was looking at me, as I walked around the table I looked up and met one of the women's eyes. They were a harsh brown, her made-up eyes demanding and calculating. I smiled, if she wanted to size me up might as well let her know I'm not a threat. I got a smirk back in return, and she turned back to her entourage. I guess that was the end of that, so I turned back to the obi's in front of me, thinking about what color coordination I wanted to display with this new outfit I was going to buy. After some time I felt that same woman make her way to where I had moved too, which was the yukata wall. "You're kanzashi is beautiful, I must say" she finally said, breaking the ice between us. I turned to her and smiled a small polite smile, "thank you". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Something was off about this woman, this conversation seemed as though it was more than just friendly chatter, so I kept my guard up and my response polite and short. I knew doing my hair with this piece would cause looks, it made me look official and that's why I wore it. It's traditional for Maiko's to have worn this hairpiece as a symbol of pride and status. It let the world know that we were good enough to be accepted into training. Though this was also a piece for protection, with the end being sharpened to a point, and deadly should it ever be pierced into someone. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Are you wearing it for the fall season, or are you a maiko?" she asked, giving me that calculating look again. I gave her a once over, her layered silk kimono and her geta sandals were proof she had money and lots of it. Although her lack of mannerisms showed she didn't come from it. The blunt, almost crass way about her would never be allowed in any formal setting where a man was involved. Women were to be meek, seen not heard, and from her stance and rude way about her it was clear she hadn't been taught this./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Very intuitive of you, yes I was a maiko." I smiled, another polite smile, not too big, keeping my composure about me. Her face dropped a fraction, something you wouldn't see if you weren't looking for it. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""You must not know where you are then" my smile dropped, and met her cold amber hues. The tension between us increased dramatically as if she had unleashed her hold on her contempt that had for me and was now letting me feel it full force. My heart picked up its tempo on its own accord, though I kept my face still, not letting her see any of my discomforts. She smiled again, though this time it was full of malice, not hatred but something so close to it that they could be considered siblings./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Don't worry, I'm not out to get you. I actually don't care who comes and goes on this street, though I don't really think you know where you are." she chuckled to herself, "and as a woman of your stature, I'm sure your house would be very dishonored to see you on this side of town. Because you are not a harlot. No, you are something far more important than that." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""I'm no longer apart of a house anymore," I said, lowering my face somewhat. I could tell where this was leading, and it had been a mistake to come here. Kappei was right, I should have just gone to the marketplace. God damn it, why do I always give in to my indulgences. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Her smile seemed to widen at my reply, "how interesting, you've already been dishonored, so why bother to keep up appearances?"./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I bit my tongue, I don't have to explain what I did. Her truth cut deep, and I wanted to say something hurt her just as bad, "I'm not here to whore myself out", was all that came out through clenched teeth, my eyes digging into hers, which were now filled with mirth because of the reaction she was getting out of me. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""No, of course, you aren't." she put her hand on my shoulder and led me to where the more formal kimonos were laid out, "how rude of me, I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Naoko. Right now all the houses that you see down this street are full of courtesan's." she motioned her hand so it was pointing left, "there is no house for your kind. So get out while you can, before they drag you down too." She gave a pointed looked to the men on the other side of the room who was still standing over the other girl who had accompanied Naoko. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""I told you before, I'm not out to get you." she said, now acting as if she were showing me the kimono she had pulled from the display, "you just don't know what you're up against". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I looked up at her with wide eyes, not really believing what I just heard come out of her mouth. My mind was suffering from whiplash from how fast this conversation seemed to turn. Just a few minutes earlier I had seen this woman as a threat, a woman who had singled me out as her enemy, cornered me as her prey and attacked using the vicious words as a snake strikes its prey, one bite after another. Though she was the exact opposite, she gave me a warning and told me where to avoid in order to stop me from being influenced into becoming a prostitute. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Thank you…" whispered to her, wanted to reach out and give her a huge hug, though I knew that would cause suspicion from her group, "My name is Airi. You have my complete and utter thanks". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"She briefly threw a sharp glance at me, "like I said I don't care who comes and goes on this street, you can take my advice or you can walk to a house and ask for a position today, It doesn't really matter to me. Though at least I can say that I told you so". With that, she walked back to her band, and they proceeded out the door together. I stood there, rooted in the same spot where she left me, looking after them amazed. You truly can't judge a book by its cover, can you? /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"strong style="font-weight: normal;" /strong/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" Never in my life would I have ever thought that coming back to this hell hole of a bar to be a blessing. Though after the strange encounter in the dress shop and rude people of Kujira Shima I was exhausted and just wanted some sort of peace of mind. Plus it didn't help that once you got Kappei out of his shell, there was no shutting him up after. He could go on and on talking about all his childhood dramas with his friends, why his sister is annoying, and how much he wants to be a swordsmith. At first, it was endearing, hearing his tales and giving feedback when asked for it. Although after a couple of nonstop minutes my ears were starting to ring. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""And then Hirohito-senpai told us that there's a ninja gang who stays really close to us and that they all can do this cool thing where-" Kappei didn't get to finish his sentence, instead all we could hear is a loud 'caw' from up above us. We both stopped and looked up, shielding our eyes from the sun and searching the blue sky for the source. Kappei looked back down at me, full of spirit, "that things gotta be huge! Did you hear how loud it was?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I kept searching for it, "Oh it's big alright. I've seen it."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Now he was searching even harder in the tree growth up above us, "Whoa! What kind of bird is it? Is it an eagle? Messenger hawk?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I shook my head, "Nope… it's a big ol' blackbird, and it woke me up this morning." I was hoping I could see it soon, so I could explain to it why I was still here. Then I thought back to what I had just said and realized my life is out of control. Never did I think I would get to a point in my life where my best friend was a bird. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Oh, that's lame… I see crows all the time" Kappei dropped his head and walked back to the path, I hadn't even noticed we had ventured off it. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I dropped mine and turned to glare at his retreating form, "Mr. Crow is not lame…" I whispered to myself, feeling the need to defend my new friend to no one. Then from the corner of my, I saw a black flash fly down and land on the branch beside me. It cawed in my face as soon as it perched, "look I get. I know I told you I'd be gone by now, but things happen, okay."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" I waited for a response, but all I got was that blank stare from earlier. I glared down at him, "I'm gonna get out of this mess, just you watch and see.", and after a few more minutes of nothing, I caved in, "Okay , you're right, maybe not anytime soon. Eventually, I will though!". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"At that, I gave it a final 'hmph' and walked over to where Kappei was waiting on me. "Who were you talking to?" he asked, giving me the 'you're crazy' look again. I shrugged, "just my friend.", and continued down the path towards Miroku's place. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Hey lady... I just thought about it… and I don't know your name" I jolted to a stop, practically freezing in place. Normally when people were asked this question, they would give the one given to them at birth and that would be that. Though for me this question was one of existences as a whole. When I had left the geisha, I had decided to take a new name, not because I didn't like my old one. In fact, I had always had a special connection with my first name because it was one of the few things that my mother had given me. In spite of this past attachment to it, I wasn't that person anymore and wanted no ties to the past that I was running away from. That's what I wanted when I left Rei yesterday morning, to take on a new name, start a new life, and become a new me. I just wanted to start it somewhere else, somewhere where I choose to be. Yet things in that village didn't go as planned, and I was basically kicked out for being a stranger. So what do I do now? /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Lady…?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"My mind was already made up as soon as I had stepped into that cursed bar last night, "Izanami" I turned back and smiled at Kappei, "my name is Izanami". Who I was on the road is not who I am now, nor will I ever be again. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Never heard that one before" he looked up as if he were breaking down each and every syllable in his brain. Then after a minute or two, his bright eyes met mine again, "It suits you". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"strong style="font-weight: normal;"br /br /strong/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Hehe, bet y'all weren't expecting that. Izanami (Airi) is now fully accepted her role for becoming a better person and we LOVE her GROWTH! Also, don't judge a book by its cover. Naoko isn't a mean girl who wanted to bully Izanami, she's just a sarcastic bitch wanting to help out the new girl in town! (we love women helping women). Also, Izanami (Airi) isn't as innocent as she likes to play… she uses to be a BAD GIRL! (And we love that.) Not only that, but baby Kappei isn't just some punk kid who wants some money, he's just a little baby who only knows to act tough is to act rude. But he's actually a sweet boi who just wants to talk! And Izanami has a new friend! A bird :) /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"br /br /p 


	7. Izanami

p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" I'm starting to realize I'm a very impulsive person. My eyebrow twitched and my stomach growled again, this being the third time this hour. I haven't eaten since yesterday, when Miroku was kind enough to share one of his fishes with me for dinner, on account that I cooked it and served it to him. He was only willing to share after he saw that all my money went to that new kimono, and right now I was kicking myself in the head for the thought ever crossing my mind. Even though I'm not the best in the kitchen, I could count on one hand how many times I've actually had to cook for myself, the dinner turned out pretty decent. And memories of its mediocre taste were now making my mouth water with a hunger of a fat kid who loves cake. Miroku was taking his afternoon nap, so it was just me, standing in the upstairs kitchen staring at empty cupboards full of nothing. Though I wasn't really by myself, my eyes rolled to Kappei, who was sitting on the floor in front of the old couch, a stone in one hand and a rusty sword looking thing in the other. Right beside him was his little sister, Chi-Chi. She was the highlight of today, her pigtails and her missing tooth smile made my heart swell as soon as she walked in after her brother just a few minutes earlier. They were just alike, shy and rude for first impressions, but more shy with her. Basically anytime I spoke or moved she would go hide behind her brother. It was sweet and made me want to pinch her cheeks, his too for taking on that 'protective big brother' role. I took a seat on the chair that was opposite of them, watching Kappei do his gig of running the stone over the sword knife thing he had over and over again. At my action, his sister tried to hide further behind him, which pissed him off, "Go on Chi-Chi! Don't ya see I'm tryin to work here!?". Chi-Chi gave a whine of her own, then proceeded to try and press herself further into his back anyway. I'm not experienced with kids, most of the time in the situations I got myself in I was always the youngest in the group. So I didn't really know what to do or say in this kind of situation. Although I guess talking to a kid isn't that different from talking to a grown up. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""I'm not gonna hurt you, I wanna be your friend!" Maybe that would do it. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Chi-Chi briefly stuck her head out from behind her brother to glance at me, and when she saw I was staring back made a beeline to its safety again. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Kappei groaned, "Chi-Chi leave me alone!" he turned around and pushed her from behind his back, but as soon as he let go she was already making her way to it. Which led him to push her away again, and causing the routine of push and go push and go to take place between them. As the adult here, should I break this up? I was mesmerized at how they both kept going at it, neither one of them giving in to other. This is the type of resilience I need…/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Call it a coincidence, call it fate, or call it hunger, but after a few minutes of their little battle of wills, all of our stomachs growled at the same time. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Have all eaten lunch yet?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"They both looked up at me with wide eyes. A look I had seen before on myself at one time, the look of reluctant admittance. It was Chi-Chi who spoke up first, "Momma didn't have anything to make…" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Kappei turned around and glared at her, "Hush Chi-Chi! Don't go telling our business to the first person who asks! Come on!". From the flush on his cheeks, I could tell he was embarrassed that she had actually spoken it out loud. His aura went from stiff relaxed to all kinds of stressed. I didn't want the tension to build any longer. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Well alright then! How about we go on a little adventure!" I clapped my hands in front of me and smiled down at them, but from his look on his face I could tell Kappei wasn't amused, "Miroku-san said ya can't go into the village today."/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I frowned, "Who said I was going to the village?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Then where are ya planning to go get some food?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""I'll show you", I stood up and made my way back to 'my room', going straight for the big bag of nothing that was laid against the wall. After shuffling in it for a few minutes, I finally found what I needed, and brought it out to show the kids. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Kappei eyed the twig knitted bushels in my arms with contempt, "What are we gonna do with baskets?" Obviously expecting something quick to fill his hunger. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I smiled that horrible eye pinching smile, "we're gonna go foraging, you brat". /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"He snorted at my name calling and Chi-Chi perked up at the new word, her curiosity giving her the confidence to peek out from behind her brother and ask, "what's poraging?"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""I don't know Chi-Chi, its some made up word this crazy woman thinks means food or something" my face dropped into a scowl and I shook my head at him. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""No, no I did not just make up this word. It means when you go out into the forest and find your food instead of going to a market and buying it." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"They both looked at each other confused, "but why would you go find it in the woods when you can just go to the market and buy it there?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I sighed and shook my head at them, "when you don't have any money for the market, or your lost and can't find a market near you." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"They met each other's eyes again, "but when would somebody not be by a market…" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"That's it, this is why I don't interact with children, they're annoying as hell. "When I leave you lost in the woods would be a great example of that". My face brighten in that sickly sweet way, the same face that I give Miroku when he's riding my nerves a little too much again, though this time with even extra force. They both flinched at the sparkles that were radiating from pearly whites that were on full display. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Now grab a basket, I'm going to teach you how to find some good food." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"They both grabbed one and we were on our way down the steps, back out the freedom that was the outdoors. As soon as we touched the soil I felt the weight of being confined in that house dissipate from being. I was home. I surveyed our location, the trees were huge, and being right next to a water source meant that our trip would have lots of different types of foods. The wind blew my hair out of the loose bun that hung low on my next while I stood contemplating, hand over my eyes so I could get a better view of our surroundings. I'm thinking mushrooms for lunch today. I took us in the direction that I had seen Miroku come from just this morning, down the dirt path that I knew would take us near the lake. There's probably plenty of rotting things somewhere in there, and that was precisely what we needed. Decay to attract the natural decomposer kings that are mushrooms. Disgusting things that taste delicious./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"'Caw!' I looked up to see my friend flying above us, it came down and settled on a branch that was a little ways ahead of us and perched. I laughed and waved at the huge black bird. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Great! Now she's really gone insane!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"'Caw!' /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I smiled back at Kappei, "see! My friend doesn't think so!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Kappei looked off to the side, "No I'm pretty sure he was agreeing…" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Ignoring that last bit I set off down the trail again, "Now kids," I sent a pointed looked at Kappei, "we're going to be looking for mushrooms this trip. The best places to look for them are under dead trees, on dead trees, or even around a bunch of leaves." I smiled down at their confused faces, "better yet just follow me around." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"The farther we walked into the woods it was as if the trees grew closer together, trying to trap us in their depths. I could hear the waves from the lake straight ahead, so I started looking for the mushrooms in the undergrowth that was covered in dense foliage and moss, acting as if it were the lush carpet to this forest. Then I saw it peeking up from the undergrowth, "Polygonatum!"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I smiled at the little bundles of herbs, gently holding the leaves and trying to breathe in their smell to see how fresh they were. I turned back to the kids, "Come look at this!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Chi-Chi was the first to my side, face almost in the dirt with how close she was to this new wonder of a plant./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""That just looks like grass…" Kappei crossed his arms at it and gave a face that showed just how underwhelmed he was. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""But it's not, that's the cool things about plants. This is Polygonatum, it's a great herb! Goes good on just about everything." Chi-Chi turned to look at me while I was talking, mystified by the plant. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""What do we do now?" She asked in her candied squeaky voice that made my heart melt. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""We pick it!" I reached over to the plant and twisted it from its root. Chi-Chi gasped in surprise at the freshly picked bundle in my hands. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Now let's pick some more so we can dry it back at Miroku's place." /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Chi-Chi small hands tried to twist as mine had, though she didn't have the patience, and instead ended up pulling the whole plant up, roots and all. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Great job Chi-Chi! We can use the roots too!" her face lit up in and beamed in the fall fog that surrounded us, one of innocence and life. Her shyness was all but forgotten now, she was having fun in the dirt./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Hey, Izanami! What are these called?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" I turned back to her big brother, who was now at a different patch of herbs and made my way over to him to get a good look at them./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" "Ooo good find! These are called wild onions!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I pulled out my tool from my basket and loosened up the ground around the stalks, then pulled them up. I looked back over to Kappei, who surprisingly looked genuinely interested. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""And that's how you pick them!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I handed him the tool, "Think you can do it?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"He smiled back at me, "what this? This is easy!"/span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""I'm glad" my heart swelled again. I think these kids are starting to grow on me. Though we still haven't found mushrooms yet… /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""I'm gonna look more in here, come this way when y'all are done!" They nodded at me, now both too busy to be bothered with what I was saying. I shook my head and felt a warmth spread over me. Going deeper into the woods, I couldn't exactly place if I had ever felt something like this before. A warmth that warms from the inside out, not like what fire does, or even a hot spring. This was a heat that could never get too hot and thawed my soul in a way that set my heart at ease. My soul felt as if it were on fire with something that could only be explained as good. Pure, innocent, unadulterated, goodness of the universe all compacted into this one crushing feeling. At this moment I couldn't even imagine all the evils and damnings that I knew were happening in the world somewhere else. It wouldn't even make sense to me why there was still crime and hurt being committed when there was this feeling in the world. What is this? I stopped my descent of going deeper into the woods and put a hand over on my chest. My heart felt as though it were taking deep breaths, with every beat I could feel it's every pause and throb that it gave. I don't understand this, I wished there was someone I could turn to ask what this means. I wish I had Rei here again. Though that thought didn't send me into that darkness again, instead now it made my heart clench just a little harder than the other times it would contract. I don't what's happening to me, but I know I'm okay. I fisted the hand on my chest, I'm going to be okay. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" Something was telling me there would be mushrooms by the shoreline. So my feet took me to where I needed to go, and for a short time, I wasn't stressed. Out here, with these kids, foraging in the woods, I didn't think about my encounter with the Shark guy last night, or who actually had a name, Kisame. Nothing terrible happened per se, all he did was ask me a few questions. It was that look in his eyes, the feeling I got when I stood too close to him. Something about him, in everything he did it was controlled madness. He had a crazy look in his eyes always, but his actions were poised as ever. He was someone that was stable but very unsettled. Not only that but he was huge, I must have not gotten a good range of his size the previous night, but standing next to him alone made me realize just how small I truly am. It made me scared, more scared than I had ever been in my life before. Just by standing next to that man I knew he was capable of something dangerous. Was that true power? I tried to shoo those thoughts away from my mind. I didn't want to think bad thoughts right now, only good. Good as in those children, who had done nothing to deserve their spent eyes, and creased brows./span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;" I didn't realize how far my feet had taken me, and when I looked up I saw I was near the pier. This must be the place where Miroku fishes. I was still hidden in the trees, but there was something at the end of that pier. I walked closer to the road and saw there was someone indeed sitting at the end of it. Then I saw the red clouds on his cloak and my heart dropped. Tired guy… /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"'CAW!' /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"Suddenly my friend was right in my face, flapping his huge wings all around. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Hush! You're gonna blow my cover!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"It flew to a branch that was above me and squawked in my face again. I frowned up at it and went to see if the tired guy was still sitting on the pier, and to my surprise he was. Just relaxing there, not really doing much of anything, as if taking in the scenery. Like an old person… I couldn't help myself, I stayed behind that tree and watched him watching whatever it was he was so captivated by. In that moment of stillness, hearing the waves hit the shore, listening to the birds sing around us, watching as the wind blew the autumn colored leaves, I understood why he was out here just sitting by himself. It's beautiful… this place is actually beautiful. In between the two most horrible villages I have ever stepped foot in was the most serene landscape I have ever seen. In all the places I've been, in every other new village that I had stepped into, nothing brought me to lull of placidity quite like this. Not the desert nights, nor the snowy hills, not the cold mountain air, nowhere else but this quiet autumn valley with its red, browns and yellows all swirling around the air right before in my eyes. My personal prison, with a warden, watchdog and all, was locked in a place that damn near took my breath away. Coupled with that emotion from earlier, and this now, I felt like I could explode from it all. It was too much, my heart felt like it was going to expand right out of my chest. I don't understand it, I don't know what's going on. I didn't know whether to run away or run to it. Though watching that tired man sitting on the edge of the pier, looking out into water not doing anything but seeing, I felt the lesson in his example. Just feel. Maybe that's what makes a good person. I felt tears border my eyes, maybe this feeling has something to do with the fact that not once today have I thought about finding a quick escape, even though it would be so easy ditch those kids. Maybe this is what's keeping me so calm when I've been panicking about whether I'm a threat to those ninja's, and my conversation with Kisame last night was so frightening that I couldn't even sleep. Maybe I really have gone crazy, I shook my head down at my feet, but at least I know one thing. I will never let anything happen to those children. I haven't even known them for more than a few days but I know I couldn't let them see that side of me. Seeing the worry lines on Kappei's forehead already make my heart the size of a boulder, and Chi-Chi's cautious eyes make me want to shield her from anything that she's already seen. These aren't the first worn kids I've seen, and they won't be the last, but these kids are the first I've actually had the power to either damn them or protect them. I could have left Kappei yesterday, and I could leave them today, not caring what happened to them because at the end of the day I would be fine. If I left right now I wouldn't have to worry about Miroku's hold on me, that weird ninja club, or even those kids themselves. Yet even that thought made me sick to my stomach, and the realization that I could never hurt them as I have done so many before made me heavy. /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Izanami!" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;""Izanami where are you?" /span/p  
p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-top: 0pt; margin-bottom: 0pt;"span style="font-size: 11pt; font-family: Arial; color: #000000; background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"I smiled at their voices and looked behind me, suddenly that weight didn't feel heavy anymore. /spanspan id="docs-internal-guid-70d094a2-7fff-3c32-8af9-aec9c91ea730"/span/p 


	8. Through Many Eyes

I'm starting to realize I'm a very impulsive person. My eyebrow twitched and my stomach growled again, this being the third time this hour. I haven't eaten since yesterday, when Miroku was kind enough to share one of his fishes with me for dinner, on account that I cooked it and served it to him. He was only willing to share after he saw that all my money went to that new kimono, and right now I was kicking myself in the head for the thought ever crossing my mind. Even though I'm not the best in the kitchen, I could count on one hand how many times i've actually had to cook for myself, the dinner turned out pretty decent. And memories of its mediocre taste were now making my mouth water with a hunger of a fat kid who loves cake. Miroku was taking his afternoon nap, so it was just me, standing in the upstairs kitchen staring at empty cupboards full of nothing. Though I wasn't really by myself, my eyes rolled to Kappei, who was sitting on the floor in front of the old couch, a stone in one hand and a rusty sword looking thing in the other. Right beside him was his little sister, Chi-Chi. She was the highlight of today, her pigtails and her missing tooth smile made my heart swell as a soon as she walked in after her brother just a minutes earlier. They were just alike, shy and rude for first impressions, but more shy with her. Basically anytime I spoke or moved she would go hide behind her brother. It was sweet, and made me want to pinch her cheeks, his too for taking on that 'protective big brother' role. I took a seat on the chair that was opposite of them, watching Kappei do his gig of running the stone over the with the sword knife thing he had in his hand over and over again. At my action his sister tried to hide further behind him, which pissed him off, "Go on Chi-Chi! Don't ya see I'm tryin to work here!?". Chi-Chi gave a whine of her own, then proceeded to try and press herself further into his back anyway. I'm not experienced with kids, most of the time in the situations I got myself in I was always the youngest in the group. So I didn't really know what to do or say in this kind of situation. Although I guess talking to a kid isn't _that_ different from talking to a grown up.

"I'm not gonna hurt you, I wanna be your friend!" Maybe that would do it.

Chi-Chi briefly stuck her head out from behind her brother to glance at me, and when she saw I was staring back made a beeline to its safety again.

Kappei groaned, "Chi-Chi leave me alone!" he turned around and pushed her from behind his back, but as soon as he let go she was already making her way to it. Which led him to push her away again, and causing the routine of push and go push and go to take place between them. As the adult here, should I break this up? I was mesmerized at how they both kept going at it, neither one of them giving in to other. This is the type of resilience I need…

Call it a coincidence, call it fate, or call it hunger, but after a few minutes of their little battle of wills, all of our stomachs growled at the same time.

"Have all eaten lunch yet?"

They both looked up at me with wide eyes. A look I had seen before on myself at one time, the look of reluctant admittance. It was Chi-Chi who spoke up first, "Momma didn't have anything to make…"

Kappei turned around and glared at her, "Hush Chi-Chi! Don't go telling our business to the first person who asks! Come on!". From the flush on his cheeks I could tell he was embarrassed that she had actually spoken it out loud. His aura went from stiff relaxed to all kinds of stressed. I didn't want the tension to build any longer.

"Well alright then! How about we go on a little adventure!" I clapped my hands in front of me and smiled at them, but from his look on his face I could tell Kappei wasn't amused, "Miroku-san said ya can't go in to the village today."

I frowned, "Who said I was going to the village?"

"Then where are ya planning to go get some food?"

"I'll show you", I stood up and made my way back to 'my room', going straight for the big bag of nothing that was laid against the wall. After shuffling in it for a few minutes, I finally found what I needed, and brought it out to show the kids.

Kappei eyed the twig knitted bushels in my arms with contempt, "What are we gonna do with baskets?" Obviously expecting something quick to fill his hunger.

I smiled that horrible eye pinching smile, "we're gonna go foraging, you brat".

He snorted at my name calling and Chi-Chi perked up at the new word, her curiosity giving her the confidence to peek out from behind her brother and ask, "what's poraging?"

"I don't know Chi-Chi, its some made up word this crazy women thinks means food or something" my face dropped into a scowl and I shook my head at him.

"No, no I did not just make up this word. It means when you go out into the forest and find your food instead of going to a market and buying it."

They both looked at eachother confused, "but why would you go find it in the woods when you can just go to the market and buy it there?"

I sighed and shook my head at them, "when you don't have any money for the market, or your lost and can't find a market near you."

They both looked at eachother again, "but when would somebody not be by a market…"

That's it, this is why I don't interact with children, they're annoying as hell. "When I leave you lost in the woods would be a great example of that". My face brighten in that sickly sweet way, the same face that I give Miroku when he's riding my nerves a little too much again, though this time with even extra force. They both flinched at the sparkles that were radiating from pearly whites that were on full display.

"Now grab a basket, I'm going to teach you how to find some good food."

They both grabbed one and we were on our way down the steps, back out the freedom that was the outdoors. As soon as we touched the soil I felt the weight of being confined in that house dissipate from being. I was home. I surveyed our location, the trees were huge, and being right next to a water source meant that our trip would have lots of different types of foods. The wind blew my hair out of the loose bun that hung low on my next while I stood contemplating, hand over my eyes so I could get a better view of our surroundings. I'm thinking mushrooms for lunch today. I took us in the direction that I had seen Miroku come from just this morning, down the dirt path that I knew would take us near the lake. There's probably plenty of rotting things somewhere in there. 'Caw!' I looked up to see my friend flying above us, it came down and settled on a branch that was a little ways ahead of us and perched. I laughed and waved at the huge black bird.

"Great! Now she's really gone insane!"

'Caw!'

I smiled back at Kappei, "see! My friend doesn't think so!"

Kappei looked off to the side, "No I'm pretty sure he was agreeing…"

Ignoring that last bit I set off down the trail again, "Now kids," I pointed looked at Kappei, "were going to be looking for mushrooms this trip. The best places to look for them are under dead trees, on dead trees, or even around a bunch of leaves." I smiled down at their confused faces, "better yet just follow me around."

The farther we walked into the woods it was as if the trees grew closer together, trying to trap us in their depths. I could hear the waves from the lake straight ahead, so I started looking for the mushrooms in the undergrowth. Then I saw it, "polygonatum!"

I smiled at the little bundles of herbs. I turned back to the kids, "Come look at this!"

Chi-Chi was the first to my side, face almost in the dirt with how close she was to this new wonder of a plant.

"That just looks like grass…" Kappei crossed his arms at it and gave a face that showed just how underwhelmed he was.

"But its not, that's the cool things about plants. This is polygonatum, it's a great herb! Goes good on just about everything." Chi-Chi turned to look at me while I was talking, mystified by the plant.

"What do we do now?" She asked in her candied squeaky voice that made my heart melt.

"We pick it!" I reached over to the plant and twisted it from its root. Chi-Chi gasped in surprise at the freshly picked bundle in my hands.

"Now let's pick some more so we can dry it back at Miroku's place."

Chi-Chi small hands tried to twist as mine had, though she didn't have the patience, and ended up pulling the whole plant up, roots and all.

"Great job Chi-Chi! We can use the roots to!" her face lit up in and beamed in the fall fog that surrounded us, one of innocence and life. Her shyness was all but forgotten now, and she was having fun in the dirt.

"Hey Izanami! What are these called?"

I turned back to her big brother, who was now at a different patch of herbs, and made my way over to him to get a good look at them.

"Ooo good find! These are called wild onions!"

I pulled out my tool from my basket and loosened up the ground around the stalks, then pulled them up. I looked back over to Kappei, who surprisingly looked genuinely interested.

"And that's how you pick them!"

I handed him the tool, "Think you can do it?"

He smiled back at me, "what this? This is easy!"

"I'm glad" my heart swelled again. I think these kids are starting to grow on me. Though we still haven't found mushrooms yet…

"I'm gonna look more in here, come this way when y'all are done!" They nodded at me, now both too busy to be bothered with what I was saying. I shook my head and felt a warmth spread over me. Going deeper into the woods, I couldn't exactly place if I had ever felt something like this before. A warmth that warms from the inside out, not like what a fire does, or even a hot spring. This was a heat that could never get too hot, and soothed my soul in a way that set my heart at ease. My soul felt as if it were on fire with something that could only be explained as good. Pure, innocent, unadulterated, goodness of the universe all compacted into this one crushing feeling. In this moment I couldn't even imagine all the evils and damnings that I knew were happening in the world somewhere else. It wouldn't even make sense to me why there was still crime and hurt being committed when there was this feeling in the world. What is this? I stopped my descent of going deeper into the woods and put a hand over on my chest. My heart felt as though it were taking deep breaths, with every beat I could feel it's pause and every throb that it gave. I don't understand this, I wished there was someone I could turn to to ask what this means. I wish I had Rei here again. Though that thought didn't send me into that darkness again, instead now it made my heart clench just a little harder than the other times it would contract. I don't what's happening to me, but I know I'm okay. I fisted the hand on my chest, I'm going to be okay.

Something was telling me there would be mushrooms by the shore line. So my feet took me to where I needed to go, and for a short time I wasn't stressed. Out here, with these kids, foraging in the woods, I didn't think about my encounter with the Shark guy last night, or who actually had a name, Kisame. Nothing terrible happened per say, all he did was ask me a few questions. It was that look in his eyes, the feeling I got when I stood too close to him. Something about him, in everything he did it was controlled madness. He had a crazy look in his eyes always, but his actions were poised as ever. He was someone that was stable but very unsettled. Not only that but he was huge, I must have not gotten a good range of his size the previous night, but standing next to him alone made me realize just how small I truly am. It made me scared, more scared than I had ever been in my life before. Just by standing next to that man I knew he was capable of something dangerous. Was that true power? I tried to shoo those thoughts away from my mind. I didn't want to think bad thoughts right now, only good. Though I didn't realize how far my feet had taken me, and when I looked up I saw I was near the pier. This must be the place where Miroku fishes. I was still hidden in the trees, but there was something at the end of that pier. I walked closer to the road, there was someone sitting on the end of it. Then I saw the red clouds on his cloak and my heart dropped. Tired guy…

'CAW!'

Suddenly my friend was right in my face, flapping his wings all around.

"Hush! You're gonna blow my cover!"

It flew to a branch that was above me and swquaked in my face again. I frowned up at it and went to see if tired guy was still sitting on the pier, and to my surprise he was. Just sitting there, not really doing much of anything, as if taking in the scenery. Like an old person… I couldn't help myself, I stayed behind that tree and watched him watching whatever it was he was so captivated by. In that moment of stillness, hearing the waves hit the shore, listening to the birds sing around us, watching as the wind blew the leaves, I understood why he was out here just sitting by himself. It's beautiful… this place is actually beautiful. The inbetween of the two most horrible villages I have ever stepped foot in was the most serene landscape I have ever seen. In all the places I've been, in every other new village that I had stepped into, nothing brought me to lull of placidity quite like this. Not the desert nights, not the snowy hills, not the cold mountain air, nowhere else but this quiet autumn valley with its red, browns and reds all radiating in my eyes. My personal prison, with a warden, watchdog and all, was somewhere in a place that damn near took my breath away. Coupled with that emotion from earlier, and this now, I felt like I could explode from it all. It was too much, my heart felt like it was going to expand right out of my chest. I don't understand it, I don't know what's going on. I didn't know whether to run away or run to it. Though watching that tired man sitting on the edge of the pier, looking out into water not doing anything but seeing, I felt the lesson in his example. Just feel. Maybe that's what makes a good person. I felt tears border my eyes, maybe this feeling has something to due with the fact that not once today have I thought about finding a quick escape, even though it would be so easy. Maybe this is what's keeping me so calm when I've been panicking about whether I'm a threat to those ninja's, and my conversation with Kisame last night was so frightening that I couldn't even sleep. Maybe I really have gone crazy, I shook my head down at my feet, but at least I know one thing. I will never let anything happen to those children. I haven't even known them for more than a few days but I know I couldn't let them see that side of me. Seeing the wrinkles on Kappei's forehead already make my heart the size of a boulder, and Chi-Chi's worried eyes make me want to shield her from anything that she's already seen. These aren't the first worn kids I've seen, and they won't be the last, but these kids are the first I've actually had the power to either damn them or protect them. I could have left Kappei yesterday, and I could leave them today, not caring what happened to them because at the end of the day I was good. If I left right now I wouldn't have to worry about Miroku's hold on me, that weird ninja club, or even those kids themselves. Yet even that thought made me sick to my stomach, and the realization that I could never hurt them as I have done so many before made me heavy.

"Izanami!"

"Izanami where are you?"

I smiled at their voices and looked behind me, suddenly that weight didn't feel heavy anymore.


	9. A Change Has Come

I'm not going to leave this place, well not yet. That pressed down on my mind a little harder than I expected, and my brain grew sore with the thought. That little voice in the back of my head that was nowhere to be found before all of a sudden popped up with the words, "you're dumb". Well, honestly I'm not surprised my inner self thinks that way. Unfortunately, I have to agree with it, because staying here in this torn up, God forbidden bar would be dumb. Not just dumb, but insane. There are trained, lethal assassins living right next door who think I'm a threat and all I can think of is 'what about the kids?'. Ugh, what the hell is wrong with me?

As I walked back to the bar with the kids in tow, our baskets filled with all kinds of herbs and even a few squashes we had found growing wild in the woods, I thought back to a me before and saw just how much I have changed during these short three days.

"Izanami how are we gonna dry the squashes?"

I turned around to look down at Chi-Chi's bright brown eyes shining back up at me, positively full of-of something. Something that made my heart swell and lips stretch into a smile, a force that was so powerful that it filled just about anything it came in contact with. This little girl and this boy just radiated that power, as if they were the ones manifesting it within themselves. Somewhere inside of them came this undeniable passion that affected everyone within their reach. I don't know what it is, but looking down at Chi-Chi's beautiful face and her crooked smile I wasn't scared.

"You'll see, let's get back to the bar and I'll show you, okay?"

"Okay"

I shifted over the basket that was in my right hand over to the other and held out my newly freed hand toward her as an invitation. To what? Well, that was up for her to decide. If she grabbed my hand I would be over the moon, if she put the basket she was carrying in it, hey, at least I can help. She glanced at the palm in front of her, then moved inside her basket to grab one of the flowers she had picked, placing its throning stem into my hand and looking back to me with a grin.

"For you."

Not what I was expecting, but still made me grimace from the amount of that feeling that flooded from in my heart to everywhere in my being. Brightening me as if from the inside out. I needed to think of something else, quick.

"Do you know what kind of flower this is?" I asked her as we headed down the path again, Kappei a few feet ahead of us.

She shook her head up at me, her black pigtails swaying gently side to side.

"They have many names, but my favorite is Manjushage. It grows in very strange places. Where did you find this one?"

"There was a grave…"

A grave, that's a good place to find one. These flowers are cursed, though I would never tell Chi-Chi that. Not after she so kindly gifted one to me. Its blood-filled spider-like petals shone sinfully in the afternoon sun, and if I hadn't been taught the dangers that were Manjushage I probably would have thought they were beautiful too. Though this flower was also known as Shibitobana, the dead person flower. It was very poisonous, and if ingested could lead to death.

"Well they don't need it anymore, do they? Thank you Chi-Chi." I smiled down at her and continued on our way home. Hoping she wouldn't notice if I dropped this along the way.

I stood over the stove and slaved away on the kabocha no nimono. Of course, this wasn't the typical kabocha no nimono that your average housewife would make. This was a variation used for the road, one passed down through generations, and somehow landed in my hands all thanks to Rei. She called it simmered kabocha, but I've heard referred to as many different names, so I decided to stick to the original.

"That smells really yummy" Kappei stuck his big head through the door frame just to get a peek at the smell that was wafting through the whole house, "I didn't know you could cook too!"

"Who told you I couldn't?" I raised my brow at his now blushing face.

"Well…" he started off, "you know momma always says that pretty ones don't have to cook. So I just thought that you didn't…"

I see, I paused in my sloshing around of the squashes and stared off in the distance. He probably thought I was like those girls who worked in the alley across from the market. At this moment I didn't know what I felt, maybe I was hurt, but if anything I was very sad. Saddened by the thought that beauty in this town equaled money, which meant selling yourself, and suddenly that lady I had met in the fabric shop crossed my mind. She was very beautiful. Then I thought of Chi-Chi and wondered just what this life would hold for her in a town like this.

I turned to face that innocent yet hardened face Kappei had crafted to fit his lifestyle that reflected the same and held up the chopsticks that were currently covered in oil, "Kappei, you don't understand, and you probably never will, but let me tell you one thing. Beauty is a curse, not a blessing."

I turned back to cooking and tried to forget that painful fact again. Though that mantra was now ingrained into my very being, it had been ever since I left the Geisha house. Having seen the damages of being viewed as something more or something less I didn't have it in me to see this world as anything it wasn't. Pretending just got you in trouble, if you keep your wits about you you'll be safe, that's how I lived. Maybe I wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed but hey, I know a thing or two about life, and being beautiful is not easy.

"I'm sorry…" I heard Kappei whisper just under the sizzle from the food in Miroku's frying pan.

I looked back at him again, though this time with a smile, trying to let him know it was okay, "Don't be, kid."

That evening, after we had eaten our fill of dinner and Miroku had woken up from his nap I walked the kids out bar doors and saw them down the lane, calling out, "Be careful!". That ache that had been there every time I saw one glimpse of their smiles was now a constant anchor on my heart, holding it steady in the turbulent waters that had now become my emotions.

"They're good kids", I looked down beside me to see Miroku standing there as well, waving farewell to the backs making their way down.

I sighed, "Yup, they sure are cute."

He shifted his hunched shoulders toward me and I could feel his beady eyes take in my stance.

"Hmm…" he said to himself then proceeded back into the bar.

My head followed him, "just what the hell are you hmm-ing at, old man?"

He laughed to himself over the 'old man' comment and continued stocking the shelves behind the bar of every sake flavor you could think of.

"Oh, its nothing" he wheezed out after he finished his laugh, "I just didn't expect you to be such a softy."

I glared at that old man from where I stood, though I couldn't keep its intensity. I sighed again and shook my head at the ground, "I used to not be like this believe it or not."

"I could tell," he replied with a knowing smile. One that made me think he somehow planned this whole interaction out wagering on my actions with fate itself.

I walked back behind the bar and started helping with the sake bottles, "kindness looks good on you Izanami."

My eyes met his, heavy with something from those words. I smiled through this feeling again, because it was the only thing I felt like I could do.

"Thank you."


	10. New Old Faces

I smiled down at the table as I placed the respective beers in front of the tired faces that were farmers and coal miners who occupied this bar tonight, "anything else I can get for you fine gentlemen tonight?". From the way I was being pulled left to right up and down, I couldn't believe Miroku use to run this place all by himself. Although everyone who came into this bar came from the town next door, and their weary exhaustion showed just how hard they worked. So none of the men here really had the energy to cause a ruckus. Yet the atmosphere was the same as it had been when I had stepped into this bar a week ago, loud and full of life. Just from glancing around and watching as these overworked faces smiled with ease and laughed with joy solidified the realization that to these men, this shabby bar was their light at the end of the tunnel after a hard day's work.

"We don't get too many of yer types this way" the weathered man squinted up at me as I picked up the bills he placed on the table. I smirked down at him from the corner of my eye, "And what might that type be?" Carrying on the conversation because, in all honesty, I was bored and kinda curious about what he meant.

"Oh you know…" he waved his hands at my clothes, and then briefly to my hair, "girls that gotta… I don't know how to say it, Ryuu back me up!"

His friend gave me a slow once over, chin in hand and nodding all the while. I stood there and pretended I didn't notice when his gaze on my chest lasted a little longer than it should have. "Class!" is what he finally shouted, "the women here ain't got none of it."

The rest of their group laughed at his comment, all patting each other on the shoulders as if congratulating him on having the balls to be the one to say it out loud. I blushed at his words, though not out of flattery.

"Surely that must be a joke…" I said with a grimace.

His other friend shook his head with a hefty snort, "can't say he is, miss. You see the ladies in our town just don't do the things or talk the way you do. They're too busy farming or running after kids. The only ladies who got the time to try are the ones who… you know." he wiggled his eyebrows and the group burst out laughing again. These people and their rudeness… poor women, I stood there with my mouth open shocked by their crass words. I knew women were regularly disrespected, know the woes that women faced in this male-dominated world by heart and had even experienced them myself. Though to hear it thrown back in my face so casually… Then I had heard Miroku call me to the bar, telling me to take a bottle of sake to one of the tables by the window. Of course, he didn't tell me which one and didn't elaborate further when I asked. I rolled my eyes at the back of his bald head and headed to where the windows were, hoping as I walked by someone would wave me down and claim the bottle. Except as soon as I turned around I felt my heart skip a beat and gasped at the person I saw sitting on the barstool in front of me. She looked so casual compared to the last time I saw her, her hair down and relaxed around her shoulders, simple yukata on. This new image of her not even holding a candle to the elegant, poised women I had met in that clothing shop.

She smiled up at me, her lips moving in that same smile that cats do behind the back of poor unsuspecting lunch. I licked my lips, suddenly cottonmouth, trying desperately to think of something, anything to say to her. Then it hit me, she knew me by Airi. She was the only one to hear my previous name before I had decided to take a new one. I glanced over at Miroku, who was currently catching up with some of his regulars, he can't know about that name. Everyone here called me Izanami. If anyone even caught a smidge of deception I'm sure those ninja guys would be the first to hear about. And changing your name was definitely suspicious… WHY AM I SO IMPULSIVE?! After this night I swear I'm not basing anything on my gut feeling anymore. Apparently, all that does is get you in trouble...

"Izanami! No slacking!" I turned to Miroku and glared down at him, then realized what had just happened at glanced back to Naoko's sharp eyes and waited for their reaction.

One delicate eyebrow raised, and she moved her face so that the right side was now being supported by her fist, "Izanami?"

I nodded my head, mouth too dry all of a sudden to trust my words. Sweating bullets all the while praying she wouldn't be too loud with her questions I just knew she was bound to ask. Although instead of interrogation or even a simple question, all she did was give a glimpse toward Miroku, and then just giggled into the hand that wasn't supporting her head. Then she looked up at me with a pretty smile, whispering "a secret for a secret" and winking a very suspicious wink that almost made me flush.

I stood up a little straighter at her words, understanding all too well what she was hinting at. "A secret for a secret" I repeated back to her, almost as if we were speaking in a different language that only girls like us could understand, and nodded down at her, hoping beyond hope she kept her word as I would keep mine.

I walked off back to the tables towards the windows with the bottle in hand, feeling as though I had swallowed rocks that were now a rumbling mess in my stomach. My nerves can't take much more of this… Secrets, lies, pending death… ugh.

I moved toward a table with another group of men, though this time they seemed to be younger than the last group I had served.

"Did you request a bottle, sir?" I held up the bottle to the man that was closest to me. He and his group turned toward me, the conversation now paused, and eyed the bottle in my hand appreciably. "Yeah that was us," said the man with red hair smack dab in the middle of their company. His hair reminded me of Rei's, the color only being a few shades too bright to be a perfect match. I put the bottle down and looked at their empty cups, "would you like me to refill your drinks?" I smiled with the question, my training coming out more and more with each encounter I had in this bar.

"I'd like you to do a little more than just that…" the guy closest to me was cut off from his red-haired friend, who had elbowed him in the gut. Although their other friends still gotta kick out of his joke, and I smiled at it too. Not a smile because I thought his joke was funny, but more for the joke I had with myself imagining pouring this bottle over his head. I didn't comment on it and continued to pour their drinks. I guess he took that as an invitation to talk to me some more, "So lady, how do you know Miroku-san?". I stopped mid pour, oh no. I took a peep at the men around the table, trying to judge whether these men were ninjas like the man before or just ordinary workers.

"I had just been passing through one night, and he was so friendly that we stayed talking for a while" I stuck with the story I had told Kisame the other night, hoping that if these men were ninja's they would go back and report to him they would compare stories that would show I wasn't a threat.

"You stuck around here just to talk to that old fart?" I looked over to the redhead and smiled, "Nope! I stuck around for the money. He offered me this job that night and I couldn't refuse. '' Yeah because I literally had no choice, but of course they don't need to know all that.

One of their greasy hair friends laughed, "man I didn't know Miroku was raking in that kind of doe. What else will you do for a dollar?"

My polite smile swiftly turned into a scowl in a blink. The red hair guy wasn't sitting next to this friend, but from his frowned brows you could tell he didn't think what his friend had said was funny either. Still the rest of the table gave a big hoot and holler after that comment, and as soon as I was done pouring the last drink I walked off back to the bar, gritting my teeth and wishing I could have smashed that bottle over his dumb oil slick of ahead. I rolled my eyes again and shook my head, rude villagers, rude men, could it get any worse? I turned the corner to go back to my haven that was behind the bar and stood in front of Naoko again, shocked to find out it really could. Next to her sat a rough-looking man, the scars across his left eye and his shady looking clothes was enough to let me know that he wasn't the type of person to get to know. Before coming to this bar that night I probably would have looked at this guy and thought he was just some thug, nothing out of the ordinary. Although now any person I see with a little too much hardness about them automatically makes me think 'ninja!'. I pretended to clean some glasses and glanced off in the distance, trying not to intrude on their conversation but failing horribly.

"Hey lady! A bottle of Sake!" he slapped his money on the table and went back to his exchange with Naoko, practically curled over her from how close he was sitting. I went over and grabbed the bottle from the shelf behind me, making sure to grab two cups and placing them gently next to the money. He looked very intense as if every word that left his mouth could be his last. Naoko didn't seem to hold the same vigor, it seemed as though her mind was in three different places at once, and her calculated gaze staring holes into the wood grain of the bar with an almost relaxed look. As he was speaking whatever it was that was so important, she took a peep up at me and winked again. I glanced between both of them, Naoko almost looking like a doll compared to this man's rugged exterior, so innocently curled into him as if she were the most precious thing in the world. Maybe this was her lover, her real lover. My heart warmed for her and I walked over to where the dirty dish bin was and decided to leave before I was caught. Plus it was almost time to close, looking up at the wall it was half-past 12. Only two more hours of this before I can take my long-awaited bath, I smiled just at the thought, showers just don't cut it with me anymore. Steam filled, boiling, soothing bath was all that I wanted at this moment more than anything else in this godforsaken establishment. I went to the first dirty table I saw and started placing the dishes into the bin humming a bath song in my head all the while.

"I don't mean to disturb you…" I gasped out of my song and turned around to stare at the redhead from before with wide eyes. Just how many times are people going to sneak up on me tonight?

I smiled and tried to play off my shock with a laugh, tucking a stray piece of hair that had fallen from my updo behind my ear, "no! You didn't disturb me at all! How may I help you?"

The blush that spread across the tops of his nose was almost too cute, I could feel my eyes sparkling at the sight, "well I was just hoping that maybe I could get your name… so - so I could call you by it next time I'm here…"

He was so awkward, but it was so cute. His hand now rested behind his head as he waited for my response, obviously nervous from the way he kept glancing around.

I smiled at him, and not the polite one I've been giving to everyone tonight, but a real one. One that came from a special place in my heart, only given out to those who truly bring it out. "Of course. My name is Izanami."

"Izanami-san, my name is Kazuma."

"Kazuma-san… I hope to see you again soon."

His blush grew even deeper, and the hand on the back of his head was now rubbing his hair frantically, "HAHA me too!"

I waved at him and walked toward the back, placing the dirty dishes into the awaiting sink that was already half full. Kazuma seemed like a nice man, a very nice man. I smiled to myself at the thought, walking out into the bar again with a little more pep in my step.

"He seemed very nice, Izanami" I stopped dead in my tracks and felt those rocks from before drop back into my stomach one by one. I turned toward Naoko and watched as she took a slow sip of her sake, now alone again at the bar.

"Yes… he actually was very nice." I said, trying to seem nonchalant.

She giggled up at me, "you don't have to be so guarded. I already told you, a secret for a secret."

I stared back into her sharp eyes, they were like steel with how I could feel them cutting into me. "I hate to be so indebted to you…"

She waved her hand as if dismissing the notion. "Don't be. What I great coincidence, I come in this bar tonight and find my favorite Maiko playing barmaid."

"Trust me, if I didn't have to be here I wouldn't."

"I understand that completely."

I watched her as she took another slow drink of her sake, finishing off the bottle. While those cold eyes stared off into the distance I began to understand her even more. I could see how she probably fit more into my situation than anyone else in this whole bar. Her life is bound to some man or woman in exchange for a comfortable lifestyle. Nobody chooses the life of a courtesan, and I felt that wave of sympathy wash over me for her and even myself.

"You know if any of Yamdera's men found out I was here I would be in big trouble, Izanami."

She moved her head back to me and those eyes took on their calculating glare, already trying to read what my reaction to that statement would mean for her. Did she have to blackmail me to keep this secret, or would I do it willingly?

She didn't even have to bring up the dirt she had on me, "same for me if they found out about my name…".

Her face stretched out into that frighteningly beautiful Cheshire grin again, "I'm glad you understand where I was going with that. Remember, a secret for a secret, and I'm quick to forget should I feel like you are."

I laughed at her threat, "Suddenly I remembered I don't have a good memory."

"Is that so? Then I guess I won't have to worry about tonight then. You'll just forget about anyway."

We both laughed with each other, both knowing the other wasn't being serious about their words.

"I won't be here long though. I promise," she said suddenly, looking up with eyes full of determination. So full of passion and drive that they inspired me as well, and that wave of cold harsh reality was now simmering in the heat of her driven challenge.

"I believe you" I smiled back at her and watched as the most beautiful smile broke across her face and light up those cold amber eyes into something so magical. Now flowing with passion and happiness, they reminded me of honey. Silently to myself, I whispered 'me too'.


End file.
